The Road to Emmaus (Week 2)

This week in my Sunday School class we continued our introduction to biblical theology and interpreting the Old Testament. After the holidays, we'll kick into full gear looking at case studies.

Biblical theology asks the question: "By what process has God revealed himself to mankind?" and results in the relating of the whole Bible to our Christian life now. Some of the strengths of biblical theology as a discipline is an increased ability to deal with problem passages in light of the whole of scripture; the ability to relate an individual story to the whole Bible and therefore ourselves; the displaying of the relationship between all parts of the OT to Christ; and the ability to map out the unity of the Bible by looking at whole message.

The Bible like all narrative has a plot flow. A basic narrative plot flow follows the following course: Introduction (Setting); Rising Action (Conflict Introduced); Climax (Conflict Resolved); Falling Action; Denoument (Conclusion). A basic narrative plot flow of the Bible could look like the following: Creation; Fall; Redemption in Process (rest of OT); Redemption Accomplished (Christ); Redemption Consummated (Glory). Vaughn Roberts has another great outline in his book "God's Big Picture."

If we are to understand any part of the narrative, we must wrestle with the issues context and application. In other words, how do we interpret an Old Testament text in light of our cultural, historical and theological distance from the original context? One method of thinking about this is to divide the main idea of a passage into three categories.

The first is called the Author's Big Idea (or ABI as it will be referred to from here on out). The ABI is concerned with the author's original intent to the original audience. It seeks to distill the main point of the passage in its original cultural, historical and theological context. For example, an ABI for Romans 3:21-26 might be: "Paul writes to the church in Rome about the appearance of the righteousness in God in the person of Christ for the sake of their justification and God's justice for those who believe."

The second is called the Theological Big Idea (TBI). It is concerned primarily with the transcendent theological principles that can be derived from the passage that would be true in any cultural or historical context. In the TBI we generally see statements about who God is and how he acts toward his people. In Romans 3 the TBI might be: "The righteousness of God has appeared in the person of Christ for the sake of the justification of sinners and the display of God's justice for those who believe." See, that statement is true no matter the cultural context because it is a statement primarily about God.

The third category is called the Message Big Idea (MBI), which might be better titled Application Big Idea if not for the fact that the acronym ABI is already in use. The MBI is concerned with taking that transcendent theological principle we derived from the text (the TBI) and reinserting it into our own cultural, historical and theological context. It asks questions like, how does this truth about God apply to me in my present reality? In Romans 3 the MBI might be: "Because the righteousness of God has appeared in the person of Christ for the sake of my justification and the display of his justice, I can have forgiveness of sin through faith in him."

Every (good) pastor goes through the process of developing an ABI, TBI and MBI for a given passage they are preaching (even if they don't use those categories or that terminology), even if they spend most of the time in the pulpit dealing with only one of them. Preaching, by its very nature, out to include all three to some extent. It is a message from a story (ABI) about God (TBI) for our edification (MBI).

At this point I'll take a break before posting again about the different ways one might interpret a given OT text in relation to Christ.

On the Road to Emmaus

Today I began a Sunday School series at my church titled "The Road to Emmaus: Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament". It is the first time I've taught adults that are substantially older and wiser than myself, and I entered into it with a bit of insecurity. It ended up being incredibly enjoyable and I'm looking forward to how the rest of the series will go.

The reason I post this is to advance some thoughts laid out by Dave several weeks ago regarding biblical theology. I am going to post short thoughts on each Sunday's lesson so that you can follow along if you are interested.

This week we looked at a few introductory concepts that inform the how and why of studying the Old Testament. Biblical theology is a distinct area of theology from the more popular systematic theology as well as historical or pastoral theology. Systematic theology is concerned with seeing what the whole Bible says about a particular concept or topic. Historical theology is concerned with the development of theology over time in history. Pastoral theology is concerned with how we ought to live our lives and operate as a church as dictated by scripture. Biblical theology is concerned with the overall story or meta-narrative of Scripture. It asks questions like, "what unifies the Bible?"

So why study the Old Testament? Well if the Bible is all one story, that means that the OT is over half of the story, at least in quantitative terms. This also means that the OT informs the remainder of the story that we find in the New Testament. We see the NT quoting the OT on almost every page. Additionally, we see the OT always pointing us forward to Christ. The same God, the three-in-one, is the God of the OT and the NT. Despite the protests of some who would declare the God of the OT a God of wrath and the God of the NT a God of love, both testaments portray the same God--a God of both justice and mercy.

Finally, we see the NT speaking of the both the significance of the OT scriptures for NT believers. In 2 Timothy 2:15-17, Paul tells Timothy that the OT scriptures are "profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work." Additionally, we get the most important statement about about the OT scriptures from Jesus himself when, after his resurrection, he confronts two of the disciples about their failure to understand the OT. He says "'O foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?' And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself" (Luke 24:25-27).

Thus, the class is aptly titled "The Road to Emmaus." My hope is that in the coming weeks we will continue to see the way in which the OT is telling the same story as the rest of the Bible: the story of God's rescue mission through his son Jesus.

Gay Christians Don't Make Me Sad

A brief reflection this morning in light of some processing I've done lately:

When I used to see openly gay or lesbian people who claimed to be Christian, I would generally feel a sense of anger because they had abandoned themselves to their sin. I would feel betrayed as a Christian who has to fight those longings every day. I would feel sad that their perspective on this issue was actually keeping them from God.

Lately I have not been so saddened by those who claim to be both Christian and gay. The reality is, if I met a gay person who actually believes the gospel: that they are a sinner in desperate need of the salvation that is found only through the blood of Jesus in whom they must place their faith and to whom they must submit as their Lord; if I met that person, I would rejoice that I have a brother in Christ. I would rejoice because what you believe about homosexuality doesn't make someone a Christian--what they believe about Jesus does.

I will tell you what does sadden me however. I haven't ever met the person I described in the previous paragraph. I know several gay Christians, and to be honest, to the man they have all abandoned the gospel. And that makes me overwhelmingly sad. In accepting a hermeneutic that permits their sexuality, they have embraced a view of the gospel that is monolithic, that interprets all of scripture through one single lens: that God is love. Everything else is subservient to that claim, and thus God is devoid of wrath, justice, judgment, righteousness and people really don't need atonement as much as a model of loving selflessness. So gay Christians don't make me sad. People who fly the banner of Christianity but don't embrace the gospel of scripture make me sad. People's eternal destiny is not defined by their sexuality--but it is defined by their view of Jesus--and so often the two seem to go hand in hand.

1 Cor 6:13

"Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food"--and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.


My roommates and I talked about this in a communal quiet time we had today and looked at the analogy that Paul makes between the stomach's relation to food with the Lord's relation to the body. I think, generally, we're a little puzzled by what exactly is going on in this verse (what is Paul trying to communicate here?), and I'd love to hear all of your thoughts on it.

Biblical Theology: What it is, why I love it, and why YOU should love it too

For a long time, if you asked me my favorite passage in the Bible, you would likely have been puzzled with my response. Ever since studying the story of David and Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel 9 with Berg my sophomore year in discipleship, I have loved the narrative. I've given talks on the passage, probably forced every Bible study I've ever led to read it, and gone to it when I have felt emotionally disconnected from the Lord. "Why?" you might ask--after all, it's simply a narrative of David keeping his promise to Jonathan to continue to show favor to his family. In response to that I would say, "True. But it's also a BEAUTIFUL picture of God loving, accepting, and adopting as a child someone who serves no use to him, and in fact is someone who probably deserves no better than death."

Little did I know it, but this was my first real encounter with biblical theology.

Upon hearing about my love for this narrative, and several similar narratives, Chris Burton recommended the book, According to Plan: An Introductory Biblical Theology. In this book, the author Graeme Goldsworthy says that biblical theology "enables us to relate any Bible story to the whole message of the Bible, and therefore to ourselves." This was incredibly intriguing to me, because this was what I was doing when I was looking at the passage on David and Mephibosheth. I saw David as a type of Christ, as we're often taught that he is, and was able to relate what he was doing to what God has done for us in Christ. But this could be done for any story in the Bible?? What did he even mean by that?? Well, it turns out, yeah, it absolutely can, and he means we can relate the ultimate story of God sending his son Jesus to die for our sins on the cross to Scripture just about anywhere we look--and it has SO enriched my reading of Scripture over the past year.

Here's why I love it: the Bible is so rich, and so beyond the surface reading that we can often give it--throughout all of history God has been showing us what would happen through Christ in so many different ways and through so many different people, through the laws and through narrative and through prophecy. As I have read the Bible over the past year or so, and especially lately, I have just been blown away by the richness of Scripture, and how so much of it points to, in some way, the good news of Christ's death on the cross for our sins.

Simply put, there are so many elements of the gospel in so many of the biblical narratives: Moses was called by God to represent him before the enslaved people of Israel in Egypt. He led the Israelites out of slavery and toward the promised land. Jesus is the greater Moses because he has led all people out of the slavery of sin and death and toward the promised land of life in Him, and never doubted the Word of God along the way.

David was but a humble shepherd tending his flock for his family when Israel's prophet called him to be king. He then went to battle against Goliath for all of Israel, humbly defeating a foreign ruler and oppressor when the entire nation of Israel was paralyzed in fear and even its king was afraid to fight. He defeated Goliath in an unconventional, humble way, and saved the nation of Israel. Jesus is the greater David because he defeats an even greater enemy on behalf of his people, also in the incredibly humble and unconventional way of dying on a cross to destroy death and saves a nation and is King over.

Naaman was a great ruler of Assyria, but he had leprosy--after speaking with Elisha, the prophet and representative of God, who told him to wash himself in the Jordan seven times and he would be healed, he went away angry, thinking that this way was foolish, until his servants convinced him to go back and do what the prophet said. Naaman expected to have to do great things to earn his cure, but all he really had to do was humble himself to the act of bathing seven times in the Jordan out of faith that God would really do what Elisha said He would do. This relates to the gospel because we, like Naaman, have a terrible disease in sin and our natural response is to feel that we need to earn our way back to God--we see this as true through so many conversations we have with people who talk about living a "good life", even people brought up in a solid church--maybe needing to do something GREAT to be healed of our sin, but the reality is that we need to put our faith in God that HE will heal us, in his own way, through the work of Christ on the cross, and to humble ourselves and go before him knowing that only he can heal us. (2 Kings 5)

Even the words of Christ point to this--In Luke 6:27-36, Jesus talks about loving our enemies and praying for those who persecute us. This is completely unnatural, and there is no person who has ever done this well, particularly on a heart level, except for Jesus. We get upset when people slight us only lightly, like with a sarcastic comment, or an elbow in a basketball game--but Christ endured the cross on behalf of sinners who continually rebelled against him. He loved his enemies (Romans 5:8) by dying on the cross for us while we were still sinners. He prayed for the people who were killing him as he was on the cross! Though we can't love our enemies perfectly, there is one who has done this--Christ!

As I have read Scripture after reading "According to Plan" and listening to Tim Keller talk about Christ-centered preaching, more of these continue to pop out at me, wherever I am reading in the text of the Bible, and it has been an incredible encouragement and enriching of my reading of the Word. I think it would do everyone well to go into a passage looking to ask the question: "How does this relate to the gospel and what Christ has done in my life?" This question helps me relate well to any passage in the Word and has helped me to look for the gospel in whatever I'm reading. What a sweet encouragement that God has been preparing us for the gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the Old Testament and that the whole Bible points to him!

The gospel needs to be at the center of our lives, as it is truly the center of Scripture, and reading the Bible in this way helps me to continually focus on what Christ has done for us, and the tremendous significance of that event for the world.

I'd love any comments and other insight you guys might have on this.

Now let me get up on my soapbox (Part 1: Worship Music)

One of my major soapboxes is worship music. For those who have known me for any length of time, the probability is that I've suggested you check out music by Indelible Grace, Sovereign Grace, and Red Mountain Church among others. I am also an incredibly lyrically-driven music listener. I generally don't like a song unless it's lyrics: 1. make sense, 2. are redemptive or at least convey a real experience in a meaningful way, 3. have some sense of art behind them (that is, they don't use the same phrase eight million other songs have used before). Now worship music is an even more specific case where lyrics gain an even greater importance. In a worship song, it is the lyrics that set it apart as a specifically God-directed activity. Thus, worship music lyrics ought to also: 1. make sense, 2. be redemptive (i.e. point me to Jesus and not myself), 3. have some sense of art behind them.

These don't seem to be too high of standards, yet so much contemporary worship fails to meet one or all of them. I was listening to a song by Hillsong United the other day titled "All I Need is You." (Disclaimer: this is not a generalized criticism of all Hillsong, just this song. There are a couple of their songs that really do point me to the gospel). Good premise, right? Let's check the lyrics:

Verse 1:

Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear you speak
Won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray

Let's break down verse 1 a bit. We are invited to sing "left my fear by the side of the road" which sounds pretty good, and it begs the question: why? Apparently because we "Hear you speak", in which the you is presumably God, but what he's saying remains a mystery to us. Perhaps we are just supposed to know how hearing God say something makes us leave our fears behind, but it all seems a bit too vague for me. The verse continues with the phrase "won't let go", which again begs the question: of what? Again it is presumably God who we will not let go of, but again with no explanation of why. And how does hearing him speak lead me to not let go? Finally it concludes with the phrase: "fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray". At this point we have managed to combine four classic spiritual phrases "left my fear", "hear you speak", "won't let go" and "fall to my knees" with no particular explanation as to how any of this relates to Jesus, or how or why these things connect with who God is in Scripture. Now don't get me wrong, every song doesn't need to be an in depth exposition of the a specific element of the gospel, but when vaguery and incoherence dominate the first verse, it doesn't bode well for the rest of the song.

Eventually we get the chorus (which in true Hillsong fashion is repeated at least a dozen times):

All I need is you
All I need is you Lord
Is you Lord

Again, there's certainly nothing wrong with the claim of the chorus. But apart from some reason why all we need is Jesus, is this just mere sentimentalism? I mean does repeating these words over and over actually meet us in our dissatisfaction and longing for redemption? Perhaps it makes us feel better for a moment, but in the end we must know how Jesus is our complete satisfaction.

Eventually we get to some gospel in the second verse:

One more day and it's not the same
Your Spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without your Son
Gave his life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that you're watching over me

So why is all we need "you Lord"? Because he's the "Saviour", without whom where would our souls be, and he "gave his life to save the earth." So we have at least something pointing us to the work of Christ, though it remains thoroughly unexplored (the phrasing that he "gave his life to save the earth" sounds a bit too Captain Planet for me, but we'll go with it). At this point you might be thinking, "Kyle, you're being way too analytical about this. It's just a song." But of course that gets at the most central problem we have with how we worship: most of the time we don't think about what we're singing.

And that's the real kicker: generally when we sing worship songs we aren't thinking about what we're singing. When we're singing most songs we aren't thinking about what we're singing. That's why Christians listen to Dave Matthews and Jay-Z (two very good musical artists in their own genres) and say "I don't pay attention the lyrics" (which of course is somewhat ironic given the fact that they could most likely sing along word-for-word with the lyrics). The problem is, when we don't think about what we're singing with regard to worship music, then corporate worship is really no different than a Coldplay concert. I've been to both. Both can give you chills and this amazing subjective experience of oneness that is almost spiritual. But it isn't worship. Or at least it's not worshiping Jesus. Worshiping Jesus means that we actually think about who he is and what he's done more than that sweet guitar riff that sent chills up my spine. Now the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, but you can't have the riff without the work of Jesus. Then it's just Coldplay's "Fix You". I used the Hillsong song above because it really is one of those songs that is musically pretty engaging; you could sing it without ever thinking about what you're singing.

And my guess is that's what most of us do. We measure worship based on whether it gave us musical chills in our spine which we call the Spirit, instead of whether it preaches the gospel to us. But the call of worship, whether it be through music, preaching, the Lord's Supper or prayer, is a call to look to Jesus, to make him the center, to hear the great Story of his work on our behalf so that we don't have to work. Or in the words of the great hymn:

Jesus paid it all, all to him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain he washed it white as snow.

The Story of It All

Lately I've been reading a bunch of novels: sci-fi by Lewis and a few fantasy novels by Andrew Peterson. What I've realized is how much I've come to love the story of the gospel. If you had seen me four years ago, you would have seen a passionate, zealous guy who wanted to know as much theology as possible, preferably systematic. I wanted to know the propositions and know them well. I was propelled toward further knowledge as I discovered more and more new propositions to add to my newly formed reformed theological framework. Everything was systematized, organized and zealously pursued.

What I've found lately is that at some level propositions don't breed perseverance. Yes, they are absolutely fundamental to the faith (I'm not going way out emergent on you all with my proposition hating) but they are not sufficient in and of themselves to generate the type of faith that lives and moves and breaths for a lifetime. We must know the truths of the Scriptures: our sinful condition, God's free grace, justification by faith, spirit-empowered sanctification; as well as how to practice them: church order, sacraments, worship, etc. However, we also must know the Truth of Scripture--and here I mean the one transcendent Truth that is the story of Scripture. Jesus calls himself the Truth not merely because he speaks truth but because he is the sum, the climax of the entire true story of scripture. We must know the True Story if we want our faith to survive the perils, threats, and difficult trials of life on a fallen, screwed up and terribly seductive world.

What does this mean? We need a biblical theology that understands the story of Scripture--that understands why Genesis and Judges and Zechariah matter, that understands how Jesus fulfills the promises and types of the Old Testament, and ultimately, that shows us that the whole story, from alpha to omega is really centered on the Alpha and Omega. Jesus is at the center of the story. And until we see the unlikely rescue of Jesus for his people planned out in eternity past and fulfilled in the most unexpected of ways for the most undeserving of people, only when we see that story, will our hearts love the gospel for a lifetime. In one of his songs Jason Gray remarks, "It's gotta be more like falling in love than something to believe in, more like losing my heart, than giving my allegiance..." When we get caught up in the Story that we are called to be a part of, it is then that we are truly equipped to endure and persevere through all the challenges of a lifetime of faithful walking in our role of the grand Story of Existence.

Check out these related resources that I've been spending time as the Story has been challenging me and changing my heart:

Andrew Peterson: On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, North! or Be Eaten
and his CD Behold the Lamb of God on itunes.

Sally Lloyd-Jones: The Jesus Storybook Bible

Update

Hey guys.

It's been a while but despite my negligence I haven't forgotten about the blog.  In fact I wrote a lot of things this summer while I was in India but for one reason or another (mostly laziness) they never found their way to the actual blog.  To be honest, I think I am a bit intimidated - not quite sure what is "worthy" of this forum so I hesitated a lot because I believed my thoughts to be unpolished and not "Christian" enough.  Regardless, I think I'm over that now.

Anyways, I'm in India again (after a brief stint in the US to get things packed).  I'm doing full time ministry with EMI (engineering ministries international), "designing a new world of hope" as they would say.  It's a place I would have never imagined myself a couple of years ago.  That is not beacuse I would be against going on an adventure over seas, but because I never imagined myself doing full time ministry.  It's still really weird.  There is lots of praying and reading the Bible and depending upon God for things - all foreign concepts really.

I'll be giving periodic updates on another blog I started (firstbreathafter.blogspot.com).  I know I can't even keep up with this one.  For general information and a couple of quirky metaphors that is probably a good place to go.

But you must know that God is doing a lot in me right now.  He has literally come to get me out of the darkness.  I was doing pretty bad the past couple of years, stuck in a pretty extensive depression, thinking about the end of my life like it was much too near.  It really got to the point where I told God - you need to come and get me because I can't go on anymore.  And look at what has happened now.  I'm in India, serving Him.  I'm not out of the woods.  My melancholy lean won't allow that just yet - but I'm on my way.  God is moving me and I've never been more thankful.

Pray for me guys.  I think I need it.  Also if you wouldn't mind, pray for my dad.  He's going to be visiting in a couple of weeks and I hope that God will be able to show him everything this organization is about allowing him to better understand the transforming effect that Christ can have.

BOOOOOOM!!!!!


ps. Ricky Rubio?

The Joy of Being a Child

I think one of the sweetest joys of being a child is that you cannot have everything you want. I was talking to Christy the other day, and a story she told prompted me on this particular tangent of thought. She mentioned to me how when she was a kid, her family would only go out to eat once every six months, and even then they would always order water as their drink. She recalled how one time at one of these rare occasions her parents told Christy and her siblings that they were allowed to order whatever they wanted to drink. To Christy, that glass of chocolate milk was the best thing she'd ever tasted.

I think this example is such a reflection of the way that our hearts and our desires work. It's not really the object of the desire itself that brings pleasure. That chocolate milk was probably no different from the chocolate milk she drinks today. But there is something about how constraints in our pursuit of what we desire will actually create greater joy in the long run. A specific example for me as a kid was my intense desire for ice cream every time I heard the jingle of the ice cream truck. There was something magical about that jingle that it had every kid on the block sprinting full on to catch the truck as it was turning the corner. These days I can buy all those cheap ice creams any time I stop to fill up gas. On occasion I do. But the pleasure is never the same. Sure the ice cream tastes pretty good. But there isn't that sense of wonder, of curiosity satisfied, of a pleasure that doesn't come often.

This would usually be the part of the post where I'd explain how I've seen this as a metaphor for something bigger in life, something spiritual even. But actually I haven't made that connection yet. Perhaps I will soon. In the meantime I'll mourn the loss of wonder in the ice cream bar and chocolate milk and perhaps try and recapture it.

Too Much of a Good Thing

It has been a dry season for me lately. Between raising support and being in a lot of transition, it has been difficult to spend a lot of time in the Word or in the study of it. Instead I've found myself reading several genres I haven't read for awhile: biography and science fiction. It is interesting to see how truth is spoken (often with greater meaning) through the means of story instead of proposition. Narrative instead of argument. One particular area where these stories have spoken to me is in the question of satisfaction. That is, what does it mean to be satisfied and where is that found?

A quote from a biography of Catholic priest Henri Nouwen:
"We ignore what we already know with a deep-seated intuitive knowledge--that no love or friendship, no intimate embrace or tender kiss, no community, commune or collective, no man or woman, will ever be able to satisfy our desire to be released from our lonely condition. This truth is so disconcerting and painful that we are more prone to play games with our fantasies than to face the truth of our existence. Thus we keep hoping that one day we will find the man who really understands our experiences, the woman who will bring peace to our restless life, the job where we can fulfil our potentials, the book which will explain everything, and the place where we can feel at home. Such false hope leads us to make exhausting demands and prepares us for bitterness and dangerous hostility when we start discovering that nobody, and nothing, can live up to our absolutistic expectations."

I think Nouwen says it so well when he remarks that we would prefer to "play games with our fantasies" instead of facing the truth of our dissatisfaction head on. We fear the fact that nothing will truly satisfy us, and so we simply pretend that it is not true, and then immerse ourselves in all manner of sexual, success and relational fantasy to numb the pain.

Now from C.S. Lewis, in his science fiction book Perelandra:
"Looking at a fine cluster of the bubbles which hung above his head he thought how easy it would be to get up and plunge oneself through the whole lot of them and to feel, all at once, that magical refreshment multiplied tenfold. But he was restrained by the same sort of feeling which has restrained him over-night from tasting a second gourd. He had always disliked the people who encored a favourite air in the opera--"That just spoils it" has been his comment. But this now appeared to him as a principle of far wider application and deeper moment. This itch to have things over again, as if life were a film that could be unrolled twice or even made to work backwards...was it possibly the root of all evil? No: of course the love of money was called that. But money itself--perhaps one valued it chiefly as a defence against chance, a security for being able to have things over gain, a means of arresting the unrolling of the film... Money, in fact, would provide the means of saying encore in a voice that could not be disobeyed."

Lewis points out that when we find something we believe does satisfy us, we feel the need to make an idol out of it (though he doesn't use those words). He describes the way that we take the hint of satisfaction that this world offers and try and suspend it, or maintain it for as long as possible. In our world there is no sense of the reality that certain pleasures or satisfaction might have their time and place and then be finished. Or, even more, that the hints of pleasure and satisfaction that this world offers are mere signposts pointing us to the true source of satisfaction. It is as if we were traveling to Chicago and saw a sign saying "Chicago 30 Miles" and decided to stop there and bask in the joy of how close we were; setting up camp and seeking to cling to that satisfaction as long as possible, all while missing the point of the sign in the first place.

We won't be truly satisfied by anything this world has to offer, nor will we be able to turn its hints of satisfaction into something lasting. Whether it's biography or science fiction, the truth is the same: "Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:25-26).

Unique Grace

The church that I have been going to here in Raleigh has been doing a sermon series on Doctrine and the topic of grace keeps coming up. The fact that God sent his only son to die for my sins so that I could live with him forever should continually astound me, but the sad truth is that I seem to grow jaded to this miracle.

I am going to go out on a limb here and talk about things that might be theologically inaccurate, so forgive me if anything I say is wrong, these are just some musings on a thought I recently had that really made me appreciate God’s grace even more. I’ve been reading “Paradise Lost & Paradise Regained” by John Milton, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradise_lost. I am on book 6 of 12 right now. So I’ll have to give a complete opinion of it once I am finished. It has been interesting to read about a subject (the fall of Satan) in which the Bible does not go into much detail. I admit this book is hard to understand, and I realize that I am not interpreting this line correctly, but it gave me an interesting thought. I think what is happening here is Satan (after rejecting God) has just been confronted by another angel.
“So spake the Cherub, and his grave rebuke
Severe in youthful beauty, added grace
Invincible: abasht the Devil stood,
And felt how awful goodness is, and saw
Virtue in her shape how lovely, saw, and pin’d
His loss;….”

Mainly the words pin’d His loss got me to thinking. These words almost hint at a touch of remorse. I don’t think satan feels any remorse for rejecting God, but it got me to thinking. God did not send his son to save the fallen angels. The fallen angels will not be redeemed. God sent his son to save the fallen humans. God could have very well left us in that fallen state and he would have been completely justified to do so. But he didn’t. How amazing!! I Peter 1:10-12
“Concerning this salvation, the prophets who prophesied about the grace that was to be yours searched and inquired carefully, inquiring what person or time the Spirit of Christ in them was indicating when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the subsequent glories. It was revealed to them that they were serving not themselves but you, in the things that have now been announced to you through those who preached the good news to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven, things into which angels long to look.”

The grace that God has shown us is so incredible, so unique that angels long to look, they long to look on something completely incomprehensible and unprecedented; God’s free gift of grace.

Memory

I’d like to share some thoughts on a passage from one of my favorite books. I’ve read this book a couple of times and each time I would read it this passage would fill me with great wonder and a deep stirring in my heart, but these feelings did not lead me to an understanding. I’m still only 22 (almost 23), so I can’t claim to have much of an understanding of these things, but I do think graduating college and moving to North Carolina has shed some light on what can be a beautiful way to look at life! I will attempt to explain….

The book is “Out of the Silent Planet” by C.S. Lewis (read it, it is amazing!). To set the stage (without giving away too much), Ransom, the main character, travels to another planet inhabited by creatures called hrossa. These hrossa are kind of like giant beavers, but more importantly they are instinctively morally pure. The following is part of a conversation between Ransom and one of the hrossa, named Hyoi.

We will enter the conversation at the point in which Hyoi is speaking:

“A pleasure is full grown only when it is remembered. You are speaking, Hman [the hrossa word for man], as if the pleasure were one thing and the memory another. It is all one thing. The seroni [another creature famous for its intellect and wisdom] could say it better than I say it now. Not better than I could say it in a poem [the hrossa are famous for their poems]. What you call remember is the last part of pleasure, as the crah is the last part of a poem. When you and I met, the meeting was over very shortly, it was nothing. Now it is growing something as we remember it. But still we know very little about it. What it will be when I remember it as I lie down to die, what it makes in me all my days till then – that is the real meeting. The other is only the beginning of it. You say you have poets in your world. Do they not teach you this?”

“Perhaps some of them do,” said Ransom. “But even in a poem does a hross never long to hear one splendid line over again?”

[skip a paragraph]

And indeed,” he continued, “the poem is a good example. For the most splendid line becomes fully splendid only by means of all the lines after it; if you went back to it you would find it less splendid than you thought. You would kill it. I mean in a good poem.”

[two paragraphs cut out]

“And how could we endure to live and let time pass if we were always crying for one day or one year to come back – if we did not know that every day in a life fills the whole life with expectation and memory and that these are that day?”


Memory is an interesting thing. It amazes me how my memory is not static over time. Newsweek published an article a few months ago about therapy for people that have undergone sever trauma, in which their memory of the event is actually changed over time… but this is not my point, just a tangent.

I find it so interesting to see what memories are brought back to my mind and which ones I dwell on. Sometimes it’s a day, a song, an event, a person, a moment, or even a look, but the recollection of it can greatly change me. I feel that even in just remembering someone I am drawn closer to them, and even though they are not physically involved in the encounter, it truly seems that the memory of someone impacts the relationship that I have with them today.

Basically I just want to say that I miss you guys and that throughout the day different things happen that throw memories of you to the front of my mind.

“When you and I met, the meeting was over very shortly, it was nothing. Now it is growing something as we remember it. But still we know very little about it.” I love you guys and the memory of our meeting is growing, growing into something beautiful, something that affects me every day, something that I cherish dearly, and may we truly rejoice in this!!

Untitled

This is my first real attempt at poetry ever, but I was feeling inspired at Panera today after studying law all day. I hope you enjoy it.

God, your chief goal is your own glory
So I exist to bring you glory
Only in you will I ever glory
To you alone be all the glory
The LORD of hosts is the king of glory!

By this it is that I know love--
That Jesus came here out of love
And therefore I can too show love,
Rejoicing in his radiant love,
And living, telling of his love.

Your Spirit came to earth in fire
And so I pray my heart catch fire;
Then you set my heart on fire
But test me too, with trials by fire
Yet purify me, like gold in fire.

Lord, as your child it's me you treasure
And knowing you is like a field with a treasure,
So for you I'll sell all my earthly treasure
And my heart will remain with what I treasure
As you lay up in heaven for me treasure.

Though grace is given me as a gift,
I don't accept that it's a gift,
But then it ceases to be a gift--
It becomes works and not a gift--
Why don't I just accept God's gift?

I know God's will is I obey his will,
But sometimes that is not my will
Yet even that God may well will
For my growth too, is in God's will--
I will still walk within God's will.

So I give glory to He who loves.
So I love Him who sent his fire.
And no fire will burn my eternal treasure.
I'll treasure all You give me as a gift;
This gift that before time was Your will.
Fulfillment of this will brings You glory.



Basically I was just reflecting on God, and wanted to talk about my response to characteristics of Him. And I often do slip into legalism, and I do still sin, but I know that in it all, God is working for me. His grace saves me, and my response should be joy and love.

A Rondo Manifesto

I haven't had the opportunity to watch a ton of NBA games this year, but I have gotten the opportunity to watch the Bulls in the playoffs (probably at the expense of my law school grades), and the one player that everyone in the media seems to be talking about is Rajon Rondo.

He's the evolution of the point guard position, they say.
He's the third-best point guard behind Chris Paul and Deron Williams, they say.
He's averaging a triple-double in the playoffs!
He wears his headband upside-down!

And it's true, there's a ton to like about Rondo, he's been unbelievable in this series. A lot of times, he's the engine that making the Celtics run. His speed and ability to get into the paint are simply unbelievable (matched only by Rose, probably by next year). But there's something I've noticed about him. Officials don't have any idea how to call the game when he has the ball. Game 6 so far being the only exception that I've seen.

Rondo simply has so much speed, so much "handles", so much body control, that when he gets in the paint he's able to simply seek out contact and make it look like he's getting hit hard. Early in Game 2, the Celtics game plan seemed to be to clear out the middle of the floor, let Rondo take the ball to the rack, and have Big Baby and Perkins crash the boards. About 50% of the time he would get a touch foul, and he would miss the layup, about 25% of the time, there would be an offensive rebound because all the bigs have to pay so much attention to the guy. But the main issue revolves around the officials blowing the whistle at contact, regardless of where the contact is initiated. Rondo throws his body into big guys who are just standing there, and fouls get called. It's like when Shaq came into the league and he was just so big, officials didn't know how to call games he was in because there was never a guy who had so much power. Rondo is to speed and "finishability" what Shaq was to power. Now granted, Rondo is not nearly the player Shaq was--yet. But the way the games are being officiated, there's simply no reason he couldn't average 20 points, 10 assists, and 8 rebounds over the course of a season. That's simply ridiculous. He's done better than that for this series--25, 11, and 11.

But the other thing about Rondo is his demeanor. I think if I was to pick 5 guys in the league I wouldn't want to hang out with, 3 of them would be on the Celtics--Perkins, Garnett, and Rondo. Rondo is totally the guy who doesn't shut up, he gets offended really easily, basically just lacking a lot of self-confidence and making up for it by lashing out at your other friends with sarcastic digs, and not being able to take it back. I think a lot of this comes from being around Garnett for the first couple years of his career. Perkins just looks angry literally ALL the time. And I think Garnett is self-explanatory, but I'll say it anyway, the guy is an absolute jerk. Berating little guards (Calderon in particular comes to mind) but running away from bigger guys, and just running his mouth ALL the time.

All this wouldn't be such a huge deal if interaction on the court weren't such a big deal in the NBA. The Celtics have taken on the attitude of Garnett, and that attitude is to out-talk, out-foul, and out-yell every team in the league. When Garnett was on the Wolves, this was endearing, because he was the only reason that team was any good. Now, he's on a team that bought a championship by bringing him and Ray Allen in, and the attitude simply annoys. He's even doing it while he's injured this year. All this has culminated in this series--Rondo has gone from cocksure sarcastic lame sidekick to a legitimate All-Star caliber player, and his attitude has risen with his play. He looks around after his pinball game trips to the lane expecting calls. He fouls Brad Miller in the face intentionally, trips Kirk Hinrich in the lane, and finally in the first half of Game 6, crossed the line. The foul on Rondo was originally called a Flagrant 2, and was changed to a Flagrant 1 only because the NBA wants the Celtics to win this series.

The Celtics may win this series (let's hope not, obviously), but they will have needed some questionable officiating and poor coaching (this one's on Del Negro) to get there. If they advance, I will be rooting against the Celtics no matter how far they go. And as for Rondo, he'll keep putting his head down and flailing around the lane, picking up calls as the officials scratch their bald heads (I'm looking at you, Joey Crawford). And he'll put up all-star numbers, and the media will love him for years to come because he plays for Boston. I hope he gets out of the bad pesky friend stage and matures to the point where he can play the kind of basketball he has this series for years, and act like he's been there before. I look forward to Derrick Rose eating him for breakfast over the next 10 years.

It's Official

For the next 7-12 months I'll be serving Christ in India. I just got an internship with Engineering Ministries International (eMi - http://emiworld.org/), that will put me in Nothern India. I'll be doing structural work on a healthcare facility for a system of villages while helping out with an ongoing medical ministry in the local villages. It is beyond exciting. I'm essentially being given an awesome platform to make sure my mind and heart are right before I embark on wherever God is going to lead me for the rest of my life. It's going to be a good time. If you guys ever want to visit, let me know.

Jesus is a Reconciler

I was reading in Mark yesterday and the Lord illuminated something I had never noticed before. So check it out (Chapter 1), Jesus is at the Sea of Galilee when He calls Simon (Peter) and Andrew who were fishing on the sea. He then walks down the shore just a bit and calls James and John, who were partners with Simon.

He called four fishermen as his first disciples, so who does He call next? Well according to John it may have been Phillip and Nathanael, but according to Matthew, Mark and Luke it looks like Levi (Matthew), the tax collector. The order seems to be a small point, but I think the fact that these three Gospel writers chose to highlight these five disciples is significant. I say this because of a seemingly minor detail. Matthew was a tax collector "beside the sea". It appears as if his booth was nearby the very place Jesus called the four fishermen a few days before, seeming to indicate that he collected taxes from fishermen (thank you ESV Study Bible). Why is this significant? Matthew was probably the very tax collector extorting money from these guys Jesus just called as His first disciples. And He calls them both to be His disciples.

Jesus brings reconciliation between people and social groups from the very start of His ministry. A small snapshot pointing to the greatest reconciliation He came to bring; us to the Father. Praise Jesus!

Paul in his meditation on this aspect of God's character exhorts the Corinthians with this message, "All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Cor. 5:17-21

William Wilberforce Wrote a Book? Brilliant!

Hey Guys! Thanks so much for sending me an invite to this. What insightful posts.

Here is a book report I scribbled out for Danny Chooks the other day:

What is man without God? Nothing. What is man with God? A saint. Many people would agree with both these statements, however what may surprise you is that many of the people you survey will not have the prerequisite knowledge to define where they are in this spectrum. There is a schism in the church today. It proves to be deep and virulent pulling many a soul into the depths of an eternity marked by weeping and gnashing of teeth (Hebrews). This is just a trifle of the terrifying points that William Wilberforce makes in his book, Real Christianity what I intend to summarize in the following paragraphs is how, as in the 17th C. of Wilberforce, and inadequate knowledge of the intrinsic truths of our salvation are acting as a millstone around the necks of many who profess to know Christ but are far from Him.

Wilberforce is quick to point out that many a man can appear to be acting in the pretense of good character but is in fact operating under a the control of avarice and vanity, which manifests itself differently within the social strata of any culture. Furthermore, Wilberforce burns away the cultural fog many of us live under, he states that man is so depraved that he cannot always see the lies with which he leads himself astray. For example many of us will agree that murder is a clear offense deserving of penal action, but how many of us would agree that offbeat humor is something worthy of damnation. In my opinion, and Wilberforce's, many would not draw the right conclusion; men and women dabble in many minor sins and explain them away as mere trifles that merely are the result of an individuals inability to be perfect all of the time. To me the perfect example of this is the entertainment that we harbor in our lives, we watch movies that depict gross acts of sin and soak it in as if it is the very thing the fuels are being. We live vicariously threw the entertainment we enjoy! We would "never" murder someone, but yet we relish the ability to watch others do so. Oh how we should shudder at the the fact! But no we let it entertain us!

Now for the point of most fear. Many who have lived their whole lives in the body of the church may find that upon arrival before the judgement seat of Christ that they never knew the one they professed as savior. Oh the very thought how it pierces the spirit! I may argue here that anyone who disagrees with me on this point is not listening to the whispers of Holy Spirit. Anyone who has been in ministry long knows well enough the poor souls who come on sunday for the Lord, but live the week at the behest of all that is carnal but who would earnestly press that they are sons of glory.

What then are we to do? Wilberforce draws a line of distinction between what he calls cultural Christianity and authentic faith. He states that there are many who profess Christ but do not pursue Christ and this is the paradigm that must be overcome. Wilberforce states that to do this we must educate others about the basics of the gospel and that out of this knowledge we will act as God's agents in lifting the veil of darkness that leaves many blind to the decadence that they avow does not exist in their lives. However, we must not forget that it is God alone that moves the hearts of men, and that we are merely the tools He uses for His glory; though what a privilege it is to be of use to the Lord of all creation.

Hence we must draw the line in the sand. Will we pick up our crosses and follow the Lord and lead others on to glory or will we bask in the revelry of self glorification and become a stench to our Lord? This was Wilberforce's motivation in writing and may it be our motivation as we move forward in the brevity of life.

There is a Fate beyond us.

One of the things that the Lord has really been pressing upon me this past year is that he is in control of everything. I see this theme occurring in numerous facets of my life as well as in numerous Medias from movies to books to poetry, and it is also obviously preeminent throughout scripture. It is referred to as fate, destiny, or “It is written” (Slumdog Millionaire, Autobiography of Malcolm X). Especially this year I have really felt that unseen hand moving me somewhere. This can at times be an encouraging thought, but at times it can be a very frustrating thought. There are things in my life that I cannot control and I think that this past year has been a real learning experience in dealing with this. My poem “The Tide” is a result of my reflections on God’s providence in my life.
One thing that continues to become brutally apparent to me is that we are not ultimately in control of our lives. We absolutely make real decisions which really determine the courses of our lives, but our lives are filled with so much that is out of our control. This year I have been very frustrated by a feeling of constraint. There are events in our lives which cannot be stopped nor controlled and when I find myself in them I feel as though I have three basic responses to choose from. I can attempt to take control of the situation, to do everything in my power to obtain the result that I desire, and when this succeeds I praise myself, and when this method fails I cry out in frustration that the world is not fair. Another option is to resign to the fact that things are out of my control and that sometimes life is great and sometimes life sucks; I just need to not allow myself to not get too high or too low. (Kierkegaard would refer to this person as the “Knight of Resignation”). The third response would be that of the “Knight of Faith”, and the response which I desire. Which is giving the control of your life over to God and then living life with anticipation and expectations for the Lord’s blessings; enjoying them exceedingly when he gives them, but remaining strong in faith even when he withholds them, knowing that he ultimately knows best. This does not mean living without emotion. My typical response is one of the first two.
One simple verse that jumped out to me this past week is Joshua 3:5. This is spoken the day before the Israelites were to cross the Jordan River and enter the Promised Land. This is how I desire to live my life as the knight of faith preparing myself for the wonders that the Lord will do.

Then Joshua said to the people, “Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do wonders among you.”

Back to my poem… The tide, the ocean, and the waves represent the things in life that are just out of our control (other people’s opinions of us, our past, our failures, our weaknesses, our families etc….). These forces can seem to constrain us (the father and son can only take their fishing boat out to sea at high tide) and like the tide these forces do not always happen at a set time or an expected time (but they surely will happen). The son and the father respond in two different ways. The son gets frustrated with the waiting for the ocean and the waiting for the tide. He wishes that he could just go at his own pace and go fishing when he wants to. Meanwhile the father understands and even seems to appreciate that most things are out of his control (the tide, the ocean, the fish etc…) and is able to almost enjoy the daily struggle. Sometimes I feel like I’m pushing my boat out to sea at what seems like high tide but the waves keep beating me back. In these instances just as the father had perseverance and patience to continue pushing the boat out even though he kept getting pushed back, I need to have the patience and the perseverance to “keep pushing the boat out” even when I’m not making progress. The Lord has planned it all and he will bring me through it, but on his time, not mine.

The Far Country

It seems fitting to be writing this post as I spend the afternoon at Dulles Airport in D.C. with a six hour layover before heading off to Zurich. Lately, the scriptural motif of "home" has really captured my heart. I have enjoyed exploring the motif a bit in scripture, but even more so in some of the books and music I've been listening to.

The motif of "home" is constantly seen in scripture. We see it from Genesis 2 when Adam and Eve make their home in Eden, and are subsequently kicked out to "another country" and kept from returning. God's call to Abram is leave his country to seek out a specific land that has been set aside for him (Gen. 12:1-3, 15:7-21, 17:8). Then, much of the remainder of the Old Testament is spent describing the nation of Israel's perpetual attempt to make their "home" in the promised land. There is an exile to another far country (Babylon) and the subsequent hope of return (Jer. 30:3, Ez. 36: 22-28, esp. 28, Zeph. 3:14-20) .

In the New Testament the idea of "home" manifests itself in several ways. We see the people still concerned about Jerusalem and Israel as the promised land (Jn. 4:20), and the disciples even interpret Jesus messianic significance to be rooted in the liberation of the Jewish people and the restoration of the promised land to the control of Israel (Mk. 10:35-45). However, the new covenant's fulfillment of the motif of home is unexpected. It is not geographic; it is spiritual. It is not ethnic; it is based on faith. The most notable continuity between the old covenant and new covenant understandings of the home motif is found in the immanuel principle (God with us)--that is, in the reality that "home" is ultimately wherever God chooses to dwell (Jn. 14:23-31). And so, in light of the cross, and the new covenant, and Jesus, home is wherever Jesus is. It is a spiritual reality, more than a physical location. In one sense, the home motif is ultimately and finally fulfilled in heaven--the perpetual dwelling place of God where we can and will see him face to face. In another sense, we can experience the reality of "home" even as we walk this earth; we experience it as we we dwell with God by faith, experiencing his love. In this sense we experience the dwelling place of God within us through the Holy Spirit. In this we get a foretaste of what the fulfilment of our longing for our true home will be like. Another implication is that the Scriptures are almost like a letter from home, from God to us, as we sojourn in this far country, longing to return home.

The album "The Far Country" by Andrew Peterson is probably one of my favorite of all time. His lyricism is top notch and laden with allusion to Tolkien, Lewis and Scripture. He explores the idea that we are in "a far country" as we await the fulfilment of our adoption as sons of God (Rom. 8:23) specifically as it relates to the issue of death.

The song, "This is Home" by Switchfoot, released with the Soundtrack for the film "Prince Caspian" also reflects on the spiritual signifance of our yearning and longing for home.

And finally, in his book "The Prodigal God", Tim Keller devotes a chapter to the motif of home and does an excellent job describing both how our homesickness is met in Jesus and how we experience the foretaste of "home" in this life as we know his love.

I could write a paper on this subject, because I love the way it shows up all over the place in Scripture and seems to have an instrinsic attraction to our hearts (or at least mine). Maybe I'll post more reflections on this in the future. For now it is enough for me to reflect on the fact that "this is a far country" and is not my home, even as I travel to a far country to meet Christy. I long for home, and that longing will not be disappointed, for "what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that wen he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is" (1 Jn. 3:2).

The Tide

In the last year my eyes have been opened up to the subtle power of poetry. This fascination started in the Bible with the books of Isaiah and the Psalms and from there extended to Alfred Tennyson and other poets of the English language. One of my favorite things about poetry is that its meaning cannot always be drawn simply from the words, my memories and experiences often mix together with the words on the page to create something new, something provoking, sometimes encouraging, sometimes utterly heartbreaking, but always something unique. I also like to reflect on the author of the poem, and what experiences might have lead them to write the words. Sometimes I can relate, sometimes I have absolutely no idea. Furthermore a poem that I read a year ago could hit me in a completely different way today.

In light of this new found [elementary] fascination with poetry I have written what I consider to be my first poem. (Sure I've written poems for 5th grade Language Arts class, but those don't count). At the surface level the inspiration for this poem is the following scene which I witnessed in Chile in which a group of fisherman were pushing their boat out to the sea. It took them about 15 - 30 minutes to battle the waves and the shallow water and finally make it out to sea.

More than just describing this scene this poem is my attempt to describe some of my feelings about life (specifically this past year). I will elaborate more on some of the themes / things that I have been learning about life, but I prefer to let the poem stand alone for now.

The Tide

The moon pulls the tide,
And draws us from our sleep.
Through the window I peak.
Dawn has yet to break
Yet we must move.

Mother sends us with a kiss
And a loaf of bread,
Which one sustains?

It is dark
But familiar is the path to the boat.
We find her where we left her,
Just above the rising tide.

Father loads the nets, checks the fuel,
We push her into the stream that runs to the sea
But is never full.

Filled with loss,
Filled with gain,
Filled with life,
Filled with death;
All streams run to the sea,
But the sea is never full.

Only when the tide is up
Can the stream carry the boat
High enough to reach the sea.

Why doesn’t he dredge the stream?
Does he prefer to follow the tide
Or to set his own time?

We’re constrained.
Is it the inevitability of the tide
Or the familiarity of the task
That constrains us?

It’s this part I hate,
It’s this part he seems to love
How has he done this everyday of his life?
How can he continue?

The boat has hit the sand,
But the sea is within reach.
The first wave lifts the boat
Only enough to move forward a few feet.

The next wave comes.
We gain ground.
The third wave is big.
It throws us back,
We push forward and return to where we began.

The next wave laps at the side of the boat
But does not lift her.
We must wait for the tide,
Wait for the perfect wave,
Wait for the fish,
Then hurry to the market to sell the fish,
And do it all over again.

Doesn’t he get sick of all this waiting?
Ah, here it comes.
The sea is rising.
Why aren’t we pushing the boat?

The sea is pushing us back
Why is he just standing there?

Finally he starts to push the boat
Yet the waves are still beating us back.
“NOW!” he cries

We push and push
Only to be knocked
Back by the next wave.
He waited for this moment?

We give another big push
And the same fate awaits.
We are driven back
To where we began.

We pause for a moment.
I curse the waves
He smiles and comments
“The waves that you curse
Are the waves that will carry us.”

We fight the next wave,
And the next,
And the next,
Only to end where we began.

The waves are getting bigger.
We must push harder just to stay where we are,
But we also have more time to advance the boat.
We start making progress.

The next wave pushes us back,
Then we advance beyond it.
We are almost there!

Then a big wave knocks the boat sideways.
My grip slips from the gunnel
And I am knocked to the water
By the force of the wave against the boat.

My father’s face remains unchanged.
“Patience” he seems to mouth,
How will we ever make it out?
When the tide is high,
The waves are too powerful to overcome.

We straighten out the boat
And prepare for the next wave.

Push… The wave beats us back,
But we gain ground,
Push… The wave breaks over the bow
But we gain ground,
Push… We are almost there,
But the timing must be perfect.

“Now!”
We both jump into the boat
He yanks the engine pull cord
Nothing
He yanks it again
Sputter
Hurry!!
He yanks it again
Vrrrroooom

Off we jet into the rising sun.
The tide and sea finally cooperated.
Now what about the fish?

The Templeton Prize

I found this article about a physicist who won the 1.42 million dollar Templeton Prize for essentially "proving" that there must be a divine, "hypercosmic" God.

If anything, it's interesting.

Here's the link.

The Wire

I think it has already become apparent that I take my media culture very seriously. For the most part (not always) when I'm listening to music, watching a movie, or watching television - I don't approach it as a time of relaxation or necessarily entertainment. I approach it with the same meticulous demeanor that someone would pour over the Dostoevsky or the Bible itself. The author, his previous works, his life story, reasons for the creation of the music or film - all of that is pertinent and necessary. Approaching everything with the same level of detail that I would look at a Bible passage has really helped me flesh out what it means for Christianity to be a transforming effect in my everyday thinking. With this way of thinking and approaching pop culture, every once and a while you stumble upon something truly remarkable.

Yesterday, I watched this show entitled "The Wire" for the first time. I had planned on just watching the pilot episode as a study break, but before I knew it, it was 4am, my pants were soaked from repeated trips out in the rain to rentertainment and I had carved a good chunk out of the first season. It wasn't just because the show was entertaining. In fact, I would say the first several episodes were clunky, slow, and confusing. No no, it was something else.

The Wire was created by former police reporter, David Simon. The entire show takes place in the city of Baltimore, Maryland. Each season follows an aspect of this city (season one - drug trade, two - the port, etc.). It chronicles the interactions between drug traders, government officials, school kids, police officers, and anyone else that is involved. To say there is one or a couple main characters is to miss the point of the show entirely. In fact the main character of the show is Baltimore.

This is one of the main things that makes the show so intriguing in my eyes. Creator David Simon has repeatedly said that his goal for the show was to create a visual novel. That is to say a show that didn't neatly wrap up episodes, have clean conclusions, have everything presented - always worrying about the furthering of plot. Instead dialogue is continually dense and it takes quite a lot effort to keep up with dozens and dozens of players in the city. It's not plot and characters that are the main focus but rather themes, motifs, and under currents. The subtle is the objective.

In the particular season I've been watching, the drug trade on the streets of Baltimore is the main focus. The series of shows focus on a detail of narcotics and homicide detectives that are trying to nail down the biggest drug lord on the west side of Baltimore. Rather than being told from anyone's particular perspective, we are instead able to listen in on everyone's perspective, both policemen and gang members. Early on it's pretty clear to see that the bad guys and good guys aren't separated by badges.

The Wire tells the story of a world where doing your 'duty' as a cop is to follow rank no matter what the order, where justice is secondary to promotions, where kids deal drugs because its the only way they can support their families, where college is an illusion, where everyone just wants to be somebody, want to have something for themselves. This is the world The Wire paints. There are few bad guys and even fewer bad guys. Everyone is simply doing what is best for them. In this world, there are no ideals.

Really it makes me think about the reality I inhabit. What assumptions do I have about people? about professions? What have I been tricked into believing? Although there is so much squalor and suffering in the show, there is something reassuring about it all for me. In a world where we have races, professions, and cultural hierarchies to help divide us - this show reminds me that despite all our attempts build intricate societal tapestries to divide one another, we're all in the same boat. We're all suffer from the same humanity that consumes us. We are not alone. We all suffer. That is reassuring for me, makes me feel a little bit better. It makes that 45 year old homeless man that lives on the street corner feel as close to me as the 22 year old kid that sits next to me in class.

If any of you do decide to journey into The Wire, just understand that is it an HBO television series and along with all the deep, socio-political commentary comes the nudity, violence, and language that you would associate with such a lifestyle. In my experience, thus far, none of it has been pornagraphic (endorsing it or glorifying it), it has simply been presented. But...still, for your information.

Unplugged (Part 1)

Is it possible to physically feel the Holy Spirit? I mean to say a moment when your mind seems to uncover the mist of God's plan allowing you to the see the interlocking of God's destiny in your life which leaves no other option than for you to be physically affected. I think people talk about goosebumps or a deep warmth in the heart of your chest. Either way, I think it's entirely there. Today, I felt that while listening to some Lauryn Hill.

You see, I love music. I absolutely love it, but I could not tell you a formal thing about it. I could not explain the use of instruments, the movement of voices or any of the complicated organizational elements. The extent of my musical experience amounts to the six months I played trumpet in 5th grade. Yet despite my lack of any formal understanding, music talks to me in a way that nothing else in the world can. I could not imagine a world devoid of Radiohead's surrealist beats, De la Rocha's war poetry, Sigur Ros's ambient beauty, or Jeff Buckley's falsetto. Music stands as fundamental to my existence as the sun on my face or the air in my lungs.

That being understood, I spent my afternoon immersed in the dense spiritual outpouring of Lauryn Hill's MTV Unplugged album. Let's acclimate you all with some history first, just in case. Lauryn Hill is widely considered to be one the most influential voices in the neo-hip hop culture. She got her start with the legendary hip hop trio, The Fugees (who stood as a living tribute to the spirit of Bob Marley). After time with the Fugees, it became clear that her voice was just too big to be contained. She started forward on her solo career, releasing her debut album The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. It came out to the massive commercial and critical success. Miseducation was nominated for 10 grammys (winning album of the year) and sold over 18 million copies, both records for a female recording artist. She was on the top of her game. Cue the sound of shattering glass. After years of touring and promoting her landmark album, Lauryn stopped. She retreated into isolation, disavowing the music industry and their manipulative ways. She remained on "hiatus" for over 4 years, without recording as much as a second of music. Following the historic success of her debut album this came off as crazy. Everyone that had a pen said she had gone clinically insane. She emerged, 4 years later with a 100 minute live acoustic album composed entirely of rough, honest songs, never recorded, and clearly still under construction. The Unplugged album was more than a musician performing a series of songs. It became a view into the head of a person who had left behind a life of fame and fortune to desperately chase after God. What followed in MTV Unplugged No. 2.0 was a complete spiritual outpouring. In between Lauryn's revealing, dense songs, she spends time not only delving into her emotion state, but her spiritual motivations for all her actions. Say what you want about Lauryn Hill and the way she has gone about her life, but this piece of work comes across as nothing but one of the most spiritually encouraging albums ever produced.

Honestly, I could make dozens and dozens of posts about ways this album has affected my life, maybe I will but for now I think it's better just to expose everyone to it.

My favorite part of the album isn't even one of her songs. It's one of the interludes she takes, where she spends 12 minutes just musing. There is a lot in here, a lot. One of my favorite passages is this:

One time, it came to me, you know, I was just told very concretely. You know, it was like that voice, the right one, said to me, he said, Lauryn, You know the real you is more interesting than the fake somebody else. I just want you to know that. Because we always thought we could get, you know, we could get reality by just putting on the clothes and wearin’ the face and you know, lookin hard in the video. But, you know. Reality is..it’s like I’ve always told to my husband, it’s like, look, you know, we look at Bob Marley, you know, and we say Ok, let’s just grow locks and wear the clothes and have the band and we have no many idea how many years of struggle and pain and suffering that made that content. You see what I’m saying? You can’t get it from the outside in. Truth is from the inside out. You know, and the way we’ve been trying to heal and be healed is with these topical, surface, superficial, temporary solution. And I’m telling you, true healing is from the inside out. You know, we’ve been told to protect our outer man while our inner man is dying.

Very honestly, it was very convicting the first time I heard it. It made me realize that there were so many things that I was just doing that made me look Christian. I don't even mean to other people. I mean to myself. I was trying to look Christian to myself. Above all, it made me step back and realize that God made me to be me. He made me to love music, to want to run around and chase a plastic disc, to argue Dwayne Wade's MVP candicancy to the point of screaming. That's kind of a scary thing, because none of those things are inherently Christian. So we have a tendency to not value them, thinking that they are trivial, defaulting to a path and set of activities thats already been walked. But God made us all different, made us all beautiful. He gave us all our own paths. After hearing this, I got the confidence to start finding that path. You'd be amazed the way these seemingly trivial things have been used for the glory of God and it's all that much more effective because God has uniquely placed them in me. Believe me, it's a struggle to be yourself when no one else is like you. It's a struggle for me every single day. But it's how I see God most honestly and for that it's a struggle worth undertaking.

Here is the link to the entire Interlude 5
Part 1
Part 2
Lyrics

The entire album itself can be streamed on Youtube. More to come.

Why should faith be considered a virtue? Do you value faith as applied to other areas of life, such as medical practice or the postal system?

This is the question I had for the AAF / Cru panel and I thought I'd post my answer on here--I'm curious to hear any thoughts that you guys have on this topic, or anything about my answer. Here it is:

The main text I want to work out of for answering this question is Hebrews 11. The first thing I think I need to do here is give a biblical definition of faith, as well as a definition of virtue.
Hebrews 11:1 says that “faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Biblical faith is not a vague hope grounded in imaginary, wishful thinking, but rather a settled confidence that something in the future—something that is not yet seen but has been promised by God—will actually happen because God will bring it about.” This faith is not a leap in the dark, instead it focuses on how God has continually kept his promises from generation to generation in Israel, as the Old Testament attests. We see God continually acting in a way that fulfills his promises to his people, specifically some of his covenants are in Genesis 12:2, to Abraham, Genesis 28:12-15, to Jacob, Exodus 19-24, to Moses, 2 Samuel 7, to David, and Jeremiah 31’s “New Covenant” fulfilled in Christ.

As Christians, we base our faith on God’s fulfillment of these promises he has made throughout human history—he made Abraham the father of a great nation, the ancestors of David were kings of Israel, culminating in Jesus, God gave Jacob the land he promised.
And Hebrews 11 touches on this in great detail. It focuses on major people within the historical narratives of the Old Testament, such as Noah, Abraham, Moses, Gideon, David, and Samuel, who heard the word of God, responded to it, and through faith did amazing things.
Abraham, for example: Verses 8-10 say, “By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.” Now Abraham messed up a bunch of times along the way: He told the Pharaoh that Sarah, his wife, was his sister, and slept with his wife’s servant to conceive a child, thinking this was the way of achieving God’s promise. So he wasn’t perfect, and faith doesn’t mean a person will be perfect. But he is still remembered so much for his faith in God and in what God promised him.

Whether or not you’re a Christian, you should read Hebrews 11 because it describes what it looks like to place your faith in God.

I couldn’t find nearly as concrete a definition for virtue in the Bible, other than that the Greek word for virtue is also translated to mean “excellence”. So I went to the next best thing to the Bible, Wikipedia. It said that a virtue is a characteristic valued as promoting individual and collective well-being, and thus is good by definition, but someone may have changed that definition by now.

So, based on this, I think the Bible demonstrates that faith is good by definition; heroes of the Jewish faith before Christ all had faith in God and God’s promises. This faith that is virtuous is assurance of things hoped for, conviction of things not seen.

It is here where I’ll address the second part of the question—I think there’s a little bit of a difference in the kind of “faith” that is being talked about in regard to the postal system, or medical practice, or getting on a plane. I think this more falls along the lines of the synonym “confidence”, meaning we are confident our letter will reach its destination but we also assume that we are subject to the errors of the system. Placing faith, “assurance of things hoped for, conviction of things not seen” in the postal system is setting oneself up for failure, because we have seen the system work, and sometimes not work. The same goes for medical practice or boarding a plane, we can have confidence that our surgery will go well, but we are aware of situations where it has not, and we can get on a plane confident that it will not crash, but we are all subject to failures in the system. Sometimes these things fail. Maybe only .01% of the time, but it happens. And it is seen.

Placing faith, “assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” in something that you have seen fail is foolish, because in doing so, we claim assurance in something unsure. We claim conviction of something that is proven not to be foolproof. People often say they believe in themselves, rather than believing in God. If only people were as sure a thing as medical practice or the postal service! As people, we fail over and over again, letting our friends down, choosing the worse of two options, saying things that hurt others. And much worse.

But Hebrews is not done after defining faith and giving us examples of people with faith. Hebrews 12:2 calls Jesus “the founder and perfecter of our faith”. This means he is the origin of our faith—he is the origin of Christianity, and he is the perfecter in that he is the fulfillment of all things in Scripture. Jesus, and the life of Jesus, is what we place our faith in. Through the Bible, we have not seen him fail. He calls himself the Son of Man, a claim to be God, and we have faith in this.

So what does this faith look like?? I believe that Hebrews has an answer for us as well in this: 12:1 tells us to lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and run with endurance the race that is before us, looking to Jesus. This is a challenge to live a changed life—1 John 2:5-6 says By this we may know that we are in Christ: whoever says he abides in Christ ought to walk in the same way in which he walked. How did Jesus walk? In holiness, in faith in God’s plan for him, in incredible love. It is to this which we are called. And we can’t do it perfectly, as the Bible tells us repeatedly, but through our faith we can continue to grow in these. This kind of faith, I think, is a virtue.

So our faith in God comes from seeing him repeatedly faithful to his promises throughout history. We can have this “assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” because of who God has been and will continue to be, unfailing and unfaltering in his promises. This is a little different than the confidence we have in everyday mechanisms like the postal service or medical practice. These things can fail, but we can put our ultimate faith in God and in Jesus Christ because God is faithful.

Am I defaulting into ministry?

Last week I had the chance to return home to Naperville to spend my spring break with my family and at my church. I was blessed with the opportunity to meet with my senior pastor and a good friend of mine who also happens to be an elder. I expected those conversations to be encouraging times of catching up. What I didn't expect was to get challenged in the area of calling. More specifically, challenged to ask the question, how do you discern your calling?

See, it's easy for me to criticize students that default into spending summers at home and entering the job market without considering where God might have them. It's much more difficult for me to discern where God might have me. It turns out, just as students might default into those positions, I'm prone to default into that which is the most comfortable and familiar to me: ministry with Campus Crusade. I think we all have the tendency to want to default into that which is most comfortable for us without challenging the underlying assumption behind that desire.

One of the most significant things that was said to me about how to discern my calling was also one of the least expected: the importance of the church in discerning how one's talents, skills and giftings might give insight into God's specific vocational calling. If it is true that the church (and more specifically, fellow believers around us) is supposed to take on a meaningful role in discerning calling, then we must ask the question, do we have people around us that are willing to be honest with us? In evangelical culture there is a tendency to tell people "nice" and "encouraging" things, whether or not they are true. So if I get up and give a talk at our weekly meeting that is fairly bad, it's pretty unlikely anyone is going to be willing to tell me, gently and graciously, yet honestly, "Kyle, that talk sucked." Do we have people in our lives that will step up to the plate and be honest about our strengths and weakenesses, our giftings and liabilities, our fruit and failure? It's far better to have honesty salted with grace, than dishonesty with good intentions.

Ultimately, we want to get equipped and trained in that which we are called. In the young, reformed crusade sub-culture, it's not surprising to find that nearly everyone believes that they are called to go to seminary and plant a reformed church somewhere in the midwest. In some ways, that's become the default for that particular sub-culture. And so again, the challenge to me, and to each of us, is to examine our calling in light of who God is, who he has made us to be, and what others say that either affirm or reject what we perceive to be God's call on our lives.

I'm praying for greater faith

A few days ago I sat down with one of the pastors at the church I'm going to here in Aspen and he shared a few stories and parables from the gospels that really encouraged me to pursue greater faith and greater understanding of our Father's heart. I'll share a bit of what I extracted from his reflections.

Take a look at Luke 11:5-13 Here, we see a man shamelessly and persistently pleading for this friend to share some bread so he can feed a guest. Think about the friend's response for a minute. He agrees finally caving to the friend's relentless requesting. Jesus goes on to explain the nature of the Father's heart, which longs to give us good things (Ps 84:11). The man going to his friend's house knew what his friend had and that he could provide for him. We must come to the Father with great persistence in prayer knowing He can move and in fact longs to move and bless us with good things and best yet, "the Holy Spirit".

Now, let's see an example from the gospels of the Syrophoenician woman doing this in Matthew 15:21-28. This woman came pleading to Jesus for Him to move. Jesus tests her first by ignoring her. His disciples asked Him to send her away because she was annoying them and Jesus responded by basically saying I came for the Jews first. Then we see she steps it up by getting right in front of Him and kneeling before Him, asking Him for mercy (Luke describes her in his account in Luke 7:24-30 saying she "fell down at His feet" and "begged Him"). He tests her again by telling her what He told to His disciples. But she replied without hesitation asking for a "crumb" from Jesus. She knew what Jesus could do, that it was only a "crumb" for Him to heal her daughter and she persistently pursued Him until Jesus moved. Jesus then told her, "O woman, great is your faith! Be it doen for you as you desire." It was her faith that moved Jesus' heart to deliver.

Last is the story of the Centurion in Matthew 8:5-13. Here again we see Jesus being moved by the faith of a Gentile. He "appeals" to Jesus for the healing of his servant. The centurion knew the power of Jesus and asked Him to do even more than He initially agreed to, heal his servant right then and there. Jesus "marveled' at his faith. Faith moves the heart of God. When Jesus preached in Nazareth He "marveled because of their unbelief" and as result of that lack of faith He "could do no mighty work there" (Mark 6:1-6). I'm wrestling with this a bit, but it seems hard to get around the reality of our lack of faith limiting the miraculous movement of God (a future post will be about my recent journey in becoming a reformed charismatic, haha, but seriously).

In all of these stories we see a boldness and humility before a loving Father longing to move. Guys, I, we, need to be before the Father in prayer pleading, begging for Him to move. I heard a speaker say that "I wonder if our prayers are like a swing of the axe into a tree and when we get to heaven we are going to see a bunch of half cut-down trees." Without faith it is impossible to please God (Heb 11:6). May He fill us to overflowing with His Holy Spirit that we may bless others.

Confessions of a Pride-aholic

Guys, I'm going to be honest. I struggle with pride a lot. I think I've really seen it come through a good amount in the last couple weeks--it's always been a struggle on the basketball court, but I've seen it manifest itself in some different ways recently.

After the AAF/Cru panel discussion, I was extremely pride-filled, and just wanted people to come talk to me about the job I did. And tonight, when I was working on blog entries, I really felt myself wanting to come across as really smart, with a really well-thought-out post on here, equal parts funny, organized, God-glorifying, theologically accurate, and intelligent. I wrote a couple different things, which I may or may not take up writing again at some point later. But the point is, that when I come across a public forum where I can get some glory for myself, I tend to take it and revel in it.

This is my sinful flesh acting. My flesh wants some freakin' recognition. My flesh wants me to be the center of attention.

Biblically, we see that God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4). I should be seeking not my own glory in these situations, and not my own recognition, but that God would be glorified and shown through me. Humility in these situations is taking a back seat and saying, "It's not about me, my answers, my blog entries, my abilities, it's about the work that God is doing in my life, and how he has changed me. It's about how incredible God is."

And that's the attitude I want to take with this blog, and I want to say a prayer for all of us as we go about writing it:

• Lord, you are incredible, and our desire is to glorify you with this blog. Lord, let us not be about ourselves, our own thoughts, our own glory, but instead to use this means of communication to better view You, to see in each others' lives and each others' growth how great You truly are. Lord, in particular, I pray that you humble me as I write, and throughout my life in general, that I would seek to boast only in you, and to seek Your renown rather than my own. God, I pray that we would be able to grow in knowing You, and that this would cause us to walk in a manner that is more fully pleasing to You, and that this would in turn lead us to desire ever-increasing knowledge of You and intimacy with You. (Colossians 1:9-10).

Why?

Why do this? Why start a blog?

As I see it, we live in a really complicated world. There are different hemispheres, different countries, different languages, different races, different occupations, different interests, and different ice creams. Then in the middle of it all is us. We are stuck in our bodies, in our skin, in our eyes and most suffocating of all, in our own minds. We spend our whole lives trying to escape this. We try and break free of the monotony of ourselves and try and connect to the world and people around us. We join clubs, travel abroad, learn languages, read books, develop relationships, end relationships - ultimately to try and relate to this world around us. Yet when it comes down to it, it's really hard. It's really hard.

Then something else comes into the equation though - a Creator. Then our methods and motivations for connecting to this world seem a little futile, a little misguided. Suddenly the motivations become bigger and grander - something we can't quite wrap our mind around.

This exists for that reason, so that we can collectively wrap our minds around our own existence. So that as a group, we can help each other. We can ask the tough questions, give bold responses, share funny stories, share shameful stories - all in an attempt to understand this life and this God which we all hold so dear to us.