It's really late at night, like 4am late. I'm tired. I can feel my eyes aching. But it's also one of those nights where my mind can't shut down, when I seem to be swimming in an endless pool of self reflection. These nights aren't uncommon, but tonight, I've had a lot of thoughts surrounding a band called Mumford & Sons.
If you're unfamiliar they are a British band that plays a very american folk/bluegrass style of music. This past summer especially their debut album, Sigh No More, has become extremely popular. I think they just finished up a world tour that was, for the most part, sold out.
But that's not what keeps me up at night.
Samples:
Sigh No More
Awake My Soul
Just listen. The emotional intensity, the lyrical resonance is undeniable.
"There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
At my heart you see,
The beauty of love
as it was made to be"
"And now my heart stumbles
on things I don't know
This weakness I feel
I must finally show"
"Awake my soul"
"You were made to meet your Maker"
There is something intensely spiritual about these songs. If you go deeper into their catalog, you'll find that it's not just these particular songs. It's just how they write, how they play. It's about our brokeness, our lifelong search for purpose, our failings, our broken hearts, our desire to be redeemed. I mean, simply, it's about life. For this purpose, this album, this band has served as a reality check these past couple of months, reminding me of the things that bind us all. But more than that - it's just sincere. The album sounds like a man honestly thinking about his life. I mean his life, not his house, not his shoes, not his job. I mean talking about his LIFE and feeling the weight of such an undertaking. I think we should feel that weight more often. There is a lot here after all.
Now I know you must be asking yourself - are these guys Christians? I personally don't know. I haven't sought the answer. Especially in this case, I find it to be irrelevant. It wouldn't change their words. It wouldn't change the simple fact that they've enriched my relationship with God. So in that sense, I'm not interested in 'discrediting' them or running them under a banner. I would urge you to listen first. Approach their work with an open mind, hear what they are saying, digest it. Then if you feel like asking that question again, by all means, find an answer.
These songs have meaning. I pray that you'll be as moved as I've been.
Now, hopefully, to bed -
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Long-Awaited Messiah to Announce Location of Birth During Primetime Special
It seems as though the entire Middle East is abuzz with news of the impending announcement of the birthplace of the Messiah. Speculation has run rampant for years that the Messiah would be coming, with anticipation building to a fever pitch. With all the hype and excitement, a primetime announcement only makes sense. Reports are that scores of angels are being lined up for the special and will contribute a song specifically in tribute to the Messiah himself. People from all over the world are convening on Israel, awaiting word of the Messiah's birthplace.
Any number of Jewish towns are vying for the right to claim the Messiah as their own.
Jerusalem has long been considered the frontrunner, as it is the mecca of the Jewish culture. A top official in Jerusalem had this to say: "We believe this is the place the Messiah belongs. There is nowhere else in all Israel where his brand will flourish like it will in Jerusalem. Jerusalem has been preparing for years for the opportunity to be the birthplace of the Messiah--primarily by killing all their prophets to make space for him.
Bethlehem is another contender, though there is some concern that the Messiah wouldn't want to follow in David's footsteps. "Bethlehem is known as David's town, and for the Messiah to choose to be born there, well he'd have to suffer through endless comparisons," noted one Jewish historian. "Bethlehem itself is a small market, and might not draw the global attention of a world-class city.
Other possibilities include: Shiloh, with its storied Jewish history; Caesarea, with its beach-side location; and Bethel, where the possibility exists that he could team up with other noted Jewish leaders in an effort to oust the Romans.
The wild card in this is Michael the Archangel, who is said to be the closest man to the Messiah in his decision-making process. According to several reports, leaders from all over Israel have been sending prayers up to Michael, hoping to lobby perhaps one of the most influential voices in the final decision.
In the end, however, it will all be up to the Messiah himself. Will he choose the glory of Jerusalem, the legacy of Bethlehem, or some other hitherto unknown location? Check in with us this Thursday at primetime here at JSPN, Jewish-Sadducee-Pharisee-Network, your leader in messianic news, Mosaic law updates, and up-to-the-minutes results in the latest casting of lots.
Any number of Jewish towns are vying for the right to claim the Messiah as their own.
Jerusalem has long been considered the frontrunner, as it is the mecca of the Jewish culture. A top official in Jerusalem had this to say: "We believe this is the place the Messiah belongs. There is nowhere else in all Israel where his brand will flourish like it will in Jerusalem. Jerusalem has been preparing for years for the opportunity to be the birthplace of the Messiah--primarily by killing all their prophets to make space for him.
Bethlehem is another contender, though there is some concern that the Messiah wouldn't want to follow in David's footsteps. "Bethlehem is known as David's town, and for the Messiah to choose to be born there, well he'd have to suffer through endless comparisons," noted one Jewish historian. "Bethlehem itself is a small market, and might not draw the global attention of a world-class city.
Other possibilities include: Shiloh, with its storied Jewish history; Caesarea, with its beach-side location; and Bethel, where the possibility exists that he could team up with other noted Jewish leaders in an effort to oust the Romans.
The wild card in this is Michael the Archangel, who is said to be the closest man to the Messiah in his decision-making process. According to several reports, leaders from all over Israel have been sending prayers up to Michael, hoping to lobby perhaps one of the most influential voices in the final decision.
In the end, however, it will all be up to the Messiah himself. Will he choose the glory of Jerusalem, the legacy of Bethlehem, or some other hitherto unknown location? Check in with us this Thursday at primetime here at JSPN, Jewish-Sadducee-Pharisee-Network, your leader in messianic news, Mosaic law updates, and up-to-the-minutes results in the latest casting of lots.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
A Discipleship Primer
I think if I were returning to Ball State again this year with Cru, there is one book I would have my guys read to begin discipleship. It is a book that explores the depth of the human soul and the nature of true spirituality. It asks questions about what is the nature of truth, beauty and love--and how those virtues are manifested in relationships. It discusses the realities of the existence of God, suffering, grace, justice and forgiveness. The book? Why The Brothers Karamazov of course.
In bullet form, these are the reasons I'd have my guys read this book first:
1. It's long. It takes commitment to finish. If they are willing to work through Karamazov then they might be willing to work through their sin and pursue spiritual growth.
2. Ministry is about people. Karamazov at its core is also about people. It is about people in all their sin, suffering and glory. There are few books that do a better job describing the reality of life in a fallen world, with fallen people, in the presence of God than this book.
3. Reading Karamazov would hopefully show my guys that one can learn much truth about God and people from the world around them. Most of the truth of God is not hidden away in thick theology textbooks; it is plainly evident before us in the people and world in which we live.
4. There are a ton of specific spiritual implications and questions that can be drawn from the book. Which brother are you like most often? Do you see attributes of any of the other brothers in you? What are the strengths and weakness of each of them? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What makes the difference between whether one is an Alyosha, Dimitri, or Ivan? Etc.
Since I'm no longer there to make them do it, I'll probably just suggest to my guys to read it on their own time. But I mostly post this to point out a truth that I'm presently learning--that the truth of the gospel is often found most clearly and potently in the places you'd least expect it.
In bullet form, these are the reasons I'd have my guys read this book first:
1. It's long. It takes commitment to finish. If they are willing to work through Karamazov then they might be willing to work through their sin and pursue spiritual growth.
2. Ministry is about people. Karamazov at its core is also about people. It is about people in all their sin, suffering and glory. There are few books that do a better job describing the reality of life in a fallen world, with fallen people, in the presence of God than this book.
3. Reading Karamazov would hopefully show my guys that one can learn much truth about God and people from the world around them. Most of the truth of God is not hidden away in thick theology textbooks; it is plainly evident before us in the people and world in which we live.
4. There are a ton of specific spiritual implications and questions that can be drawn from the book. Which brother are you like most often? Do you see attributes of any of the other brothers in you? What are the strengths and weakness of each of them? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What makes the difference between whether one is an Alyosha, Dimitri, or Ivan? Etc.
Since I'm no longer there to make them do it, I'll probably just suggest to my guys to read it on their own time. But I mostly post this to point out a truth that I'm presently learning--that the truth of the gospel is often found most clearly and potently in the places you'd least expect it.
We are Katy Perry
Exhibit A: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4UWiSWunaM
Exhibit B: http://www.theworldforgot.com/twf/mp3/Katy%20Perry%20-%20Electric%20Feel%20%28Acoustic%20MGMT%20Cover%29.Mp3
Conclusion - Katy Perry is talented.
The fact is she is a mainstream hit machine, with lyrics and music mostly decided for her. If indeed she did make the decisions herself, well, that's even worse. But watching this video and listening to that MGMT cover, digging the jazz tempo, listening to her deep, soulful voice, and being frustrated by the absolute nonsense coming out of her mouth most of the time - i realized something. We are all Katy Perry.
She has this great musical talent, but instead of producing great, meaningful, soulful music, she creates inane garbage. How must God feel? He's given us all this talent, all these passions and daily we waste it on shortsighted concerns. We doubt ourselves, follow others advice rather than believing in what he's inherently made us.
So, from this day forward, when I confronted with Katy Perry's hyper sexualized nonsense, I'll be reminded of just how much God has given us.
Exhibit B: http://www.theworldforgot.com/twf/mp3/Katy%20Perry%20-%20Electric%20Feel%20%28Acoustic%20MGMT%20Cover%29.Mp3
Conclusion - Katy Perry is talented.
The fact is she is a mainstream hit machine, with lyrics and music mostly decided for her. If indeed she did make the decisions herself, well, that's even worse. But watching this video and listening to that MGMT cover, digging the jazz tempo, listening to her deep, soulful voice, and being frustrated by the absolute nonsense coming out of her mouth most of the time - i realized something. We are all Katy Perry.
She has this great musical talent, but instead of producing great, meaningful, soulful music, she creates inane garbage. How must God feel? He's given us all this talent, all these passions and daily we waste it on shortsighted concerns. We doubt ourselves, follow others advice rather than believing in what he's inherently made us.
So, from this day forward, when I confronted with Katy Perry's hyper sexualized nonsense, I'll be reminded of just how much God has given us.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
hard, difficult studies
Guys, I am really struggling with motivation right now. In light of this, I would like to share with you one of the most, if not the most impactful page (outside of scripture) that I have read. I have probably cited or referenced this quote to many of you at some point. I am not going to give any kind of interpretation of this quote, or how I have tried to understand it. I think it can speak for itself, but I do want you to know that I think about this quote ALL THE TIME.
This is a quote from the English translation of “The Brothers Karamazov” by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It appears at the beginning of chapter 5.
“Some will say, perhaps, that Alyosha was slow, undeveloped, had not finished his studies, and so on. That he had not finished his studies is true, but to say that he was slow or stupid would be a great injustice. I will simply repeat what I have already said above: he set out upon this path only because at the time it alone struck him and presented him all at once with the whole ideal way out for his soul struggling from darkness to light. Add to this that he was partly a young man of our time – that is, honest by nature, demanding the truth, seeking it and believing in it, and in that belief demanding immediate participation in it with all the strength of his soul; demanding an immediate deed, with an unfailing desire to sacrifice everything for this deed, even life. Although, unfortunately, these young me do not understand that the sacrifice of life is, perhaps, the easiest of all sacrifices in many cases, while to sacrifices, for example, five or six years of their ebulliently youthful life to hard, difficult studies, to learning, in order to increase tenfold their strength to serve the very truth and the very deed that they loved and set out to accomplish – such sacrifice is quite often almost beyond the strength of many of them. Alyosha simply chose the opposite path from all others, but with the same thirst for an immediate deed. As soon as he reflected seriously and was struck by the conviction that immortality and God exist, he naturally said at once to himself: “I want to live for immortality, and I reject any halfway compromise.” In just the same way, if he had decided that immortality and God do not exist, he would immediately have joined the atheists and socialists (for socialism is not only the labor question or the question of the so-called fourth estate, but first of all the question of atheism, the question of the modern embodiment of atheism, the question of the Tower of Babel built precisely without God, not to go from earth to heaven but to bring heaven down to earth). To Alyosha it even seemed strange and impossible to go on living as before. It was said: “If thou wilt be perfect, give all that thou hast to the poor and come and follow me.” So Alyosha said to himself: “I cannot give two roubles instead of ‘all,’ and instead of ‘follow me’ just go to Sunday liturgy.”
I certainly don’t live up to this, but by the grace of God this is what I am striving for.
This is a quote from the English translation of “The Brothers Karamazov” by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It appears at the beginning of chapter 5.
“Some will say, perhaps, that Alyosha was slow, undeveloped, had not finished his studies, and so on. That he had not finished his studies is true, but to say that he was slow or stupid would be a great injustice. I will simply repeat what I have already said above: he set out upon this path only because at the time it alone struck him and presented him all at once with the whole ideal way out for his soul struggling from darkness to light. Add to this that he was partly a young man of our time – that is, honest by nature, demanding the truth, seeking it and believing in it, and in that belief demanding immediate participation in it with all the strength of his soul; demanding an immediate deed, with an unfailing desire to sacrifice everything for this deed, even life. Although, unfortunately, these young me do not understand that the sacrifice of life is, perhaps, the easiest of all sacrifices in many cases, while to sacrifices, for example, five or six years of their ebulliently youthful life to hard, difficult studies, to learning, in order to increase tenfold their strength to serve the very truth and the very deed that they loved and set out to accomplish – such sacrifice is quite often almost beyond the strength of many of them. Alyosha simply chose the opposite path from all others, but with the same thirst for an immediate deed. As soon as he reflected seriously and was struck by the conviction that immortality and God exist, he naturally said at once to himself: “I want to live for immortality, and I reject any halfway compromise.” In just the same way, if he had decided that immortality and God do not exist, he would immediately have joined the atheists and socialists (for socialism is not only the labor question or the question of the so-called fourth estate, but first of all the question of atheism, the question of the modern embodiment of atheism, the question of the Tower of Babel built precisely without God, not to go from earth to heaven but to bring heaven down to earth). To Alyosha it even seemed strange and impossible to go on living as before. It was said: “If thou wilt be perfect, give all that thou hast to the poor and come and follow me.” So Alyosha said to himself: “I cannot give two roubles instead of ‘all,’ and instead of ‘follow me’ just go to Sunday liturgy.”
I certainly don’t live up to this, but by the grace of God this is what I am striving for.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
The warm summer breezes, The French wines and cheeses
I love stories and Jimmy Buffett is a darn good story teller. I’ll concede that many of his stories are simply a glorification of self and living a hedonistic lifestyle, however if you can get over the “Margarittaville” and the “Why don’t we get drunk and screw” you will find a worthwhile collection of stories. Part of the reason I love Jimmy Buffett is the nostalgia that it stirs up… the smell of sweat and diesel fuel as I worked on the sailboat with my dad, the smell of fresh mulch as we observed the “pseudo” family tradition of spreading mulch over memorial day weekend, or simply playing around the house. Many of my early memories have the tunes of Paul Simon, Jimmy Buffet, Billy Joel, Elton John, or perhaps the Oakridge Boys as their background. But I digress… The main point of this blog is to draw attention to one of, if not the best, (at least lyrically) Jimmy Buffett songs.
I encourage you to listen to the song before you read any more of this blog. Here is a link to a youtube video featuring the song “He Went to Paris” by Jimmy Buffett.
I could probably write multiple posts on this song (and I may), but for now I will focus on the lines, “The warm summer breezes, the French wines and cheeses, put his ambitions at bay” and there relevance to my current place in this life.
Now that I am working (not quite full time, since I’m still a grad student, but working none the less) and making my own money, I am starting to really feel the pull of the warm summer breezes, the French wines and cheeses, and I fear that they are starting to put some of my ambitions at bay. I have come to hold vacation up to an almost god-like status, or if it isn’t vacation it is simply the weekend. I spend most of my days dreaming about what I will do with those moments in which I don’t have to do anything, the warm summer breezes, the French wines and cheeses… I have this nagging thought that I was once a very ambitious guy, I was ready to take on the world’s problems. I look back at Hunter from freshmen year of college, and sure I see a lot of immaturity, but I also see a lot of unbridled ambition. I see a freshman at University of Illinois that might have actually believed that he could be the Daniel that brought the kingdom of Babylon to belief in the one true living God, the freshman that wanted to take on the AIDS crisis, and felt so much compassion for the suffering. I’m not sure what happened to that guy. I know he has grown up a lot, he has experienced things that he didn’t count on, but he’s not necessarily living the life he thought he would.
All of this brings me to a decision that I have recently made, that will helpfully lead me to recover some of that freshmen year at U of I Hunter. I’m probably being a little over dramatic hear, so I hope you aren’t expecting anything too spectacular.
I will be moving out of my apartment in about one month. I will be moving in with 4 guys from my church that live near downtown Raleigh. I am thrilled to live with Christian brothers again, and I am really excited to live closer to an actual urban area, but that being said there were certainly many hurdles keeping me from deciding to move. I thank God that he has stirred up the desire to move. I will be moving to a duplex in which I will have so much less living space that I am guessing I will need to rent public storage space to accommodate at least 50% of my possessions, which leads me to the obvious question, why the heck do I have all of this stuff? On top of this the area that I will be moving to is quite literally on the boundary line. The duplex is basically situated on the economic, class, and racial boundary line. You can look to the east and see prostitutes walking the streets or you can look to the west and see (from my estimations) half million dollar homes, with perfectly manicured lawns, elaborate landscaping, wind chimes, security systems, lexus SUVs, multiple refrigerators, finished basements, flat screen TVs, country club memberships, braces, boats, beach houses, etc….
I’m hoping and praying that this new home will allow me to let go of some of those summer breezes, French wines and cheeses (as much as I love them), and allow me to restore some of those ambitions that may have been put at bay.
I encourage you to listen to the song before you read any more of this blog. Here is a link to a youtube video featuring the song “He Went to Paris” by Jimmy Buffett.
I could probably write multiple posts on this song (and I may), but for now I will focus on the lines, “The warm summer breezes, the French wines and cheeses, put his ambitions at bay” and there relevance to my current place in this life.
Now that I am working (not quite full time, since I’m still a grad student, but working none the less) and making my own money, I am starting to really feel the pull of the warm summer breezes, the French wines and cheeses, and I fear that they are starting to put some of my ambitions at bay. I have come to hold vacation up to an almost god-like status, or if it isn’t vacation it is simply the weekend. I spend most of my days dreaming about what I will do with those moments in which I don’t have to do anything, the warm summer breezes, the French wines and cheeses… I have this nagging thought that I was once a very ambitious guy, I was ready to take on the world’s problems. I look back at Hunter from freshmen year of college, and sure I see a lot of immaturity, but I also see a lot of unbridled ambition. I see a freshman at University of Illinois that might have actually believed that he could be the Daniel that brought the kingdom of Babylon to belief in the one true living God, the freshman that wanted to take on the AIDS crisis, and felt so much compassion for the suffering. I’m not sure what happened to that guy. I know he has grown up a lot, he has experienced things that he didn’t count on, but he’s not necessarily living the life he thought he would.
All of this brings me to a decision that I have recently made, that will helpfully lead me to recover some of that freshmen year at U of I Hunter. I’m probably being a little over dramatic hear, so I hope you aren’t expecting anything too spectacular.
I will be moving out of my apartment in about one month. I will be moving in with 4 guys from my church that live near downtown Raleigh. I am thrilled to live with Christian brothers again, and I am really excited to live closer to an actual urban area, but that being said there were certainly many hurdles keeping me from deciding to move. I thank God that he has stirred up the desire to move. I will be moving to a duplex in which I will have so much less living space that I am guessing I will need to rent public storage space to accommodate at least 50% of my possessions, which leads me to the obvious question, why the heck do I have all of this stuff? On top of this the area that I will be moving to is quite literally on the boundary line. The duplex is basically situated on the economic, class, and racial boundary line. You can look to the east and see prostitutes walking the streets or you can look to the west and see (from my estimations) half million dollar homes, with perfectly manicured lawns, elaborate landscaping, wind chimes, security systems, lexus SUVs, multiple refrigerators, finished basements, flat screen TVs, country club memberships, braces, boats, beach houses, etc….
I’m hoping and praying that this new home will allow me to let go of some of those summer breezes, French wines and cheeses (as much as I love them), and allow me to restore some of those ambitions that may have been put at bay.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
This Holy Adventure
As I was journaling this morning, I reflected on all the change that has happened in my life over the past three years in Indiana, as well as how much change awaits me in the next three weeks. I'll be getting married in a few short days; going on my honeymoon; then returning and moving to St. Louis, changing jobs, and trying to find all new community. At times it feels daunting and stressful, producing anxiety and fear in my heart.
This morning however I was struck with a different thought. The changes that await me are part of a new adventure. Every good adventure is fraught with risk, danger and uncertainty. It would be quite a boring adventure if there was never an anxious moment or an uncertain resolution. The beauty of this adventure, though, is that all the risk, danger and uncertainty exist in the midst of journey that is simultaneously essential, joyful and rewarding. It is the adventure that has God has laid before Christy and I. And as sure as it is God's adventure for us, it is a holy adventure.
In this holy adventure I have the greatest of companions--my God and my bride. I have the greatest of promises--the faithfulness of both my companions. And though this journey will be filled with danger, pain and suffering there also the greatest of assurance--this is a holy adventure that will end with a happily ever after.
This morning however I was struck with a different thought. The changes that await me are part of a new adventure. Every good adventure is fraught with risk, danger and uncertainty. It would be quite a boring adventure if there was never an anxious moment or an uncertain resolution. The beauty of this adventure, though, is that all the risk, danger and uncertainty exist in the midst of journey that is simultaneously essential, joyful and rewarding. It is the adventure that has God has laid before Christy and I. And as sure as it is God's adventure for us, it is a holy adventure.
In this holy adventure I have the greatest of companions--my God and my bride. I have the greatest of promises--the faithfulness of both my companions. And though this journey will be filled with danger, pain and suffering there also the greatest of assurance--this is a holy adventure that will end with a happily ever after.
Friday, April 30, 2010
A Poem for April
I feel I must contribute one of my favorite poems given that it is national poetry month.
This is from W.H. Auden, one of my favorite poets, perhaps because he always seems to tell the truth of what he is feeling or believing.
From "Friday's Child", a poem about the existence of God and the significance of Good Friday, and a tribute to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, an excerpt:
Since the analogies are rot
Our senses based belief upon,
We have no means of learning what
Is really going on,
And must put up with having learned
All proofs or disproofs that we tender
Of His existence are returned
Unopened to the sender.
Now, did He really break the seal
And rise again? We dare not say;
But conscious unbelievers feel
Quite sure of Judgement Day.
Meanwhile, a silence on the cross,
As dead as we shall ever be,
Speaks of some total gain or loss,
And you and I are free
To guess from the insulted face
Just what Appearances He saves
By suffering in a public place
A death reserved for slaves.
This is from W.H. Auden, one of my favorite poets, perhaps because he always seems to tell the truth of what he is feeling or believing.
From "Friday's Child", a poem about the existence of God and the significance of Good Friday, and a tribute to Dietrich Bonhoeffer, an excerpt:
Since the analogies are rot
Our senses based belief upon,
We have no means of learning what
Is really going on,
And must put up with having learned
All proofs or disproofs that we tender
Of His existence are returned
Unopened to the sender.
Now, did He really break the seal
And rise again? We dare not say;
But conscious unbelievers feel
Quite sure of Judgement Day.
Meanwhile, a silence on the cross,
As dead as we shall ever be,
Speaks of some total gain or loss,
And you and I are free
To guess from the insulted face
Just what Appearances He saves
By suffering in a public place
A death reserved for slaves.
Getting Ready to Die
Now it might seem pessimistic to begin a post about marriage with such a title, but I've been reminded much lately of the way in which any new beginning also requires dying. Perhaps this post will shed some light on Hunter's previous inquiry, perhaps not.
I'm sitting at our kitchen table in our apartment, an apartment I share with three other guys who are all involved in Cru. Interestingly enough, this will also be Christy and I's kitchen table as well. It is one of the holdovers from my present life that will make its way into our new, combined life. There are, however, many things that won't survive that transition--and thus the title.
Any new beginning requires dying. The bachelor Kyle, who would balance ministry, friends, and hours playing Final Fantasy XIII on XBox will be no more. The Kyle who would go off to Panera for six hours a day to read and write will have to die--or at least suffer a lot of injury. And the Kyle who, with deeper and darker thoughts, dreamed of other lives, will put them to rest as he chooses one specific path.
How did I get here? How did I arrive at this decision? Surely it was providence and grace. And just as surely I made a decision nine months ago based on endorphins and physiological cues that propelled me to think that this might be the best decision for me. But ultimately I am walking this path because as it says in Jeremiah 6:16, I stand at the crossroads and look, and seeing two paths, must choose between that which God has for me and that which he does not. I must walk in the way everlasting, for it is only there that true joy is found. And it is the way of joy. Pain too. But joy everlasting.
And so I put to death the old Kyle, in all his independence and selfishness. Surely it will rise again and need to be killed again. But for now it is being laid in the coffin.
I'll end with some lyrics from a forthcoming Andrew Peterson song:
Well "I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end.
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin.
Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down.
And I believe its an easy price
For the life that we have found.
And we went dancing in the minefields,
We went sailing in the storms,
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that what the promise is for.
I'm sitting at our kitchen table in our apartment, an apartment I share with three other guys who are all involved in Cru. Interestingly enough, this will also be Christy and I's kitchen table as well. It is one of the holdovers from my present life that will make its way into our new, combined life. There are, however, many things that won't survive that transition--and thus the title.
Any new beginning requires dying. The bachelor Kyle, who would balance ministry, friends, and hours playing Final Fantasy XIII on XBox will be no more. The Kyle who would go off to Panera for six hours a day to read and write will have to die--or at least suffer a lot of injury. And the Kyle who, with deeper and darker thoughts, dreamed of other lives, will put them to rest as he chooses one specific path.
How did I get here? How did I arrive at this decision? Surely it was providence and grace. And just as surely I made a decision nine months ago based on endorphins and physiological cues that propelled me to think that this might be the best decision for me. But ultimately I am walking this path because as it says in Jeremiah 6:16, I stand at the crossroads and look, and seeing two paths, must choose between that which God has for me and that which he does not. I must walk in the way everlasting, for it is only there that true joy is found. And it is the way of joy. Pain too. But joy everlasting.
And so I put to death the old Kyle, in all his independence and selfishness. Surely it will rise again and need to be killed again. But for now it is being laid in the coffin.
I'll end with some lyrics from a forthcoming Andrew Peterson song:
Well "I do" are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end.
But to lose your life for another I've heard
Is a good place to begin.
Cause the only way to find your life
Is to lay your own life down.
And I believe its an easy price
For the life that we have found.
And we went dancing in the minefields,
We went sailing in the storms,
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that what the promise is for.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Following a Stream
As I reflect on my blog posts from the last 12+ months, I realize that I have basically posted the same thing over and over again.... and as I contemplate another blog post, I realize that it is going to be the same thing again... so if I have bored you enough already you are certainly under no obligation to continue reading.
For some time now I have been stuck on the philosophical/existential puzzle of free will versus fate, or as I would call it, God's providence.
Does anyone else ever get the feeling like you aren't actually making decisions... that your life is planned out for you and while in the moment you may feel like you are faced with numerous options, however when you break it down, your hand has been forced. I've just had that overwhelming feeling lately, and I found it kind of strange. I've spent much of the past 9 months in Raleigh second guessing the few life decisions that I have made so far, but now all of a sudden I again feel like there was no decision. Finding myself in this position is simply a product of my past, my upbringing, the environment I was raised in, the company that I kept....
I'd be really interested to hear from the two of you that will be getting married soon, and how you have come to make this very important life decision. (I realize that a public blog is probably not the best place for those thoughts, and I'm not encouraging you to post that on this blog, but maybe in the form of an email or something, I would love to hear your perspective on decision making).
Or maybe yall are getting sick of me repeatedly posting the same thing...
I'll leave you with this treat. I recently subscribed to the New Yorker magazine, and found the following poem from this week's issue to be especially enjoyable:
"Don't do it, the guidebook says,
if you're lost. Then it goes on
to talk about something else,
taking the easy way out,
which of course is what water does
as a matter of course always
taking whatever turn
the earth has told it to
while and since it was born,
including flowing over
the edge of a waterfall
or simply disappearing
underground for a long dark time
before it reappears
as a spring so far away
from where you thought you were
and where you think you are
it might never occur
to you to imagine where
that could be as you go downhill."
Following a Stream, by David Wagoner
For some time now I have been stuck on the philosophical/existential puzzle of free will versus fate, or as I would call it, God's providence.
Does anyone else ever get the feeling like you aren't actually making decisions... that your life is planned out for you and while in the moment you may feel like you are faced with numerous options, however when you break it down, your hand has been forced. I've just had that overwhelming feeling lately, and I found it kind of strange. I've spent much of the past 9 months in Raleigh second guessing the few life decisions that I have made so far, but now all of a sudden I again feel like there was no decision. Finding myself in this position is simply a product of my past, my upbringing, the environment I was raised in, the company that I kept....
I'd be really interested to hear from the two of you that will be getting married soon, and how you have come to make this very important life decision. (I realize that a public blog is probably not the best place for those thoughts, and I'm not encouraging you to post that on this blog, but maybe in the form of an email or something, I would love to hear your perspective on decision making).
Or maybe yall are getting sick of me repeatedly posting the same thing...
I'll leave you with this treat. I recently subscribed to the New Yorker magazine, and found the following poem from this week's issue to be especially enjoyable:
"Don't do it, the guidebook says,
if you're lost. Then it goes on
to talk about something else,
taking the easy way out,
which of course is what water does
as a matter of course always
taking whatever turn
the earth has told it to
while and since it was born,
including flowing over
the edge of a waterfall
or simply disappearing
underground for a long dark time
before it reappears
as a spring so far away
from where you thought you were
and where you think you are
it might never occur
to you to imagine where
that could be as you go downhill."
Following a Stream, by David Wagoner
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Al Pie Desde Su Nino
Travis will appreciate this one, and I'll post the translation as well. I just really like this poem. It reminds me a lot of that passage in scripture that talks about Christians as different parts of the body. It is easy to be jealous of other parts of the body. I can relate with the foot in this poem, sometimes I also wish I were an apple or a butterfly. I have my thoughts, interpretations, and opinions of this poem, but it is probably better to let it speak for itself.
El pie del niño aún no sabe que es pie,
y quiere ser mariposa o manzana.
Pero luego los vidrios y las piedras,
las calles, las escaleras,
y los caminos de la tierra dura
van enseñando al pie que no puede volar,
que no puede ser fruto redondo en una rama.
El pie del niño entonces
fue derrotado, cayó
en la batalla,
fue prisionero,
condenado a vivir en un zapato.
Poco a poco sin luz
fue conociendo el mundo a su manera,
sin conocer el otro pie, encerrado,
explorando la vida como un ciego.
Aquellas suaves uñas
de cuarzo, de racimo,
se endurecieron, se mudaron
en opaca substancia, en cuerno duro,
y los pequeños pétalos del niño
se aplastaron, se desequilibraron,
tomaron formas de reptil sin ojos,
cabezas triangulares de gusano.
Y luego encallecieron,
se cubrieron
con mínimos volcanes de la muerte,
inaceptables endurecimientos.
Pero este ciego anduvo
sin tregua, sin parar
hora tras hora,
el pie y el otro pie,
ahora de hombre
o de mujer,
arriba,
abajo,
por los campos, las minas,
los almacenes y los ministerios,
atrás,
afuera, adentro,
adelante,
este pie trabajó con su zapato,
apenas tuvo tiempo
de estar desnudo en el amor o el sueño,
caminó, caminaron
hasta que el hombre entero se detuvo.
Y entonces a la tierra
bajó y no supo nada,
porque allí todo y todo estaba oscuro,
no supo que había dejado de ser pie,
si lo enterraban para que volara
o para que pudiera
ser manzana.
To the Foot from it's Child
The child's foot still doesn't know it's a foot,
it wants to be a butterfly or apple.
Later, the stones, bits and pieces of glass,
streets, stairways,
the packed earth of the road,
go on teaching the foot it can't fly,
can't be round as fruit on a branch.
The child's foot,
defeated, went down
in battle,
a casualty
condemned to live in a shoe.
Little by little in the dark it began
to interpret the world after its fashion,
never knowing its other foot, still enclosed,
groping for life like a blind man.
Those toe-nails, glossy
as quartz, in a cluster,
hardened over, assumed
matter's opacity; tough as horn,
the child's little petals
flattened out, shifted their balance,
took the eyeless form of a reptile,
the triangular head of a worm.
They grew calluses,
covered themselves
with death's littlest volcanoes,
unwanted fossilization.
But the blind thing trudged on
without stopping or flinching,
hour after hour,
one foot after the other foot,
now a man's,
now a woman's,
above
or below,
crossing meadows and mines,
warehouses, offices -
forward and
back, inside
or ahead of itself,
the foot worked with its shoe,
hardly had time
to strip down for loving or sleeping,
it walked, they kept walking,
till the whole man dropped in his tracks.
Then it crawled
under the earth and knew nothing more,
since all things, all possible things, are shadowy there.
It never knew it had stopped being a foot - whether
they had buried it to teach it to fly,
or because one day it might
turn into an apple.
by Pablo Neruda
El pie del niño aún no sabe que es pie,
y quiere ser mariposa o manzana.
Pero luego los vidrios y las piedras,
las calles, las escaleras,
y los caminos de la tierra dura
van enseñando al pie que no puede volar,
que no puede ser fruto redondo en una rama.
El pie del niño entonces
fue derrotado, cayó
en la batalla,
fue prisionero,
condenado a vivir en un zapato.
Poco a poco sin luz
fue conociendo el mundo a su manera,
sin conocer el otro pie, encerrado,
explorando la vida como un ciego.
Aquellas suaves uñas
de cuarzo, de racimo,
se endurecieron, se mudaron
en opaca substancia, en cuerno duro,
y los pequeños pétalos del niño
se aplastaron, se desequilibraron,
tomaron formas de reptil sin ojos,
cabezas triangulares de gusano.
Y luego encallecieron,
se cubrieron
con mínimos volcanes de la muerte,
inaceptables endurecimientos.
Pero este ciego anduvo
sin tregua, sin parar
hora tras hora,
el pie y el otro pie,
ahora de hombre
o de mujer,
arriba,
abajo,
por los campos, las minas,
los almacenes y los ministerios,
atrás,
afuera, adentro,
adelante,
este pie trabajó con su zapato,
apenas tuvo tiempo
de estar desnudo en el amor o el sueño,
caminó, caminaron
hasta que el hombre entero se detuvo.
Y entonces a la tierra
bajó y no supo nada,
porque allí todo y todo estaba oscuro,
no supo que había dejado de ser pie,
si lo enterraban para que volara
o para que pudiera
ser manzana.
To the Foot from it's Child
The child's foot still doesn't know it's a foot,
it wants to be a butterfly or apple.
Later, the stones, bits and pieces of glass,
streets, stairways,
the packed earth of the road,
go on teaching the foot it can't fly,
can't be round as fruit on a branch.
The child's foot,
defeated, went down
in battle,
a casualty
condemned to live in a shoe.
Little by little in the dark it began
to interpret the world after its fashion,
never knowing its other foot, still enclosed,
groping for life like a blind man.
Those toe-nails, glossy
as quartz, in a cluster,
hardened over, assumed
matter's opacity; tough as horn,
the child's little petals
flattened out, shifted their balance,
took the eyeless form of a reptile,
the triangular head of a worm.
They grew calluses,
covered themselves
with death's littlest volcanoes,
unwanted fossilization.
But the blind thing trudged on
without stopping or flinching,
hour after hour,
one foot after the other foot,
now a man's,
now a woman's,
above
or below,
crossing meadows and mines,
warehouses, offices -
forward and
back, inside
or ahead of itself,
the foot worked with its shoe,
hardly had time
to strip down for loving or sleeping,
it walked, they kept walking,
till the whole man dropped in his tracks.
Then it crawled
under the earth and knew nothing more,
since all things, all possible things, are shadowy there.
It never knew it had stopped being a foot - whether
they had buried it to teach it to fly,
or because one day it might
turn into an apple.
by Pablo Neruda
Thursday, April 8, 2010
A Little Madness in the Spring
Here are a few more spring/April poems to celebrate spring, April, and National Poetry Month. I have posted this first one on here before, but I love thinking about regeneration as I see the earth "being regenerated" in the spring. The first two poems are by Emily Dickinson and the last one is by Gerard Manley Hopkins
An altered look about the hills;
A Tyrian light the village fills;
A wider sunrise in the dawn;
A deeper twilight on the lawn;
A print of a vermilion foot;
A purple finger on the slope;
A flippant fly upon the pane;
A spider at his trade again;
An added strut in chanticleer;
A flower expected everywhere;
An axe shrill singing in the woods;
Fern-odors on untraveled roads,-
All this, and more I cannot tell,
A furtive look you know as well,
And Nicodemus' mystery
Receives its annual reply.
Here's another short one about spring:
A little madness in the Spring
Is wholesome even for the King,
But God be with the Clown,
Who ponders this tremendous scene-
This whole experiment of green,
As if it were his own!
And lastly not necessarily a spring poem, but I think fitting for spring time.
Glory be to God for dappled things-
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced - fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.
An altered look about the hills;
A Tyrian light the village fills;
A wider sunrise in the dawn;
A deeper twilight on the lawn;
A print of a vermilion foot;
A purple finger on the slope;
A flippant fly upon the pane;
A spider at his trade again;
An added strut in chanticleer;
A flower expected everywhere;
An axe shrill singing in the woods;
Fern-odors on untraveled roads,-
All this, and more I cannot tell,
A furtive look you know as well,
And Nicodemus' mystery
Receives its annual reply.
Here's another short one about spring:
A little madness in the Spring
Is wholesome even for the King,
But God be with the Clown,
Who ponders this tremendous scene-
This whole experiment of green,
As if it were his own!
And lastly not necessarily a spring poem, but I think fitting for spring time.
Glory be to God for dappled things-
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches' wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced - fold, fallow, and plough;
And all trades, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
National Poetry Month
In light of the fine poetry that has been shared here I feel it my duty to pass along a verse or two that has touched my life.
This is the one and only poem that my father made me memorize as a child and it is only now that I have begin to treasure it. To offer a little background, the poem was written in light of a brigade of British Cavalry that attempted a fatal charge during the crimean war. The most intriguing fact about the whole poem is the fact that all the men knew that some mistake had been made, for to attempt this charge meant certain death. It makes me ponder what we value in our culture. Self aggrandizement and a general lack of selflessness pervade our society and this poem makes ideas and lofty ethical ideas simmer in my minds eye.
Anyway, I encourage you to read it.
Half a league, half a league, "Forward, the Light Brigade!" Cannon to right of them, Flash'd all their sabres bare, Cannon to right of them, When can their glory fade? |
Half a league onward,Copied from Poems of Alfred Tennyson,
J. E. Tilton and Company, Boston, 1870
Monday, April 5, 2010
Can trouble live with April days?
I don’t know how you guys feel about the month of April, but I feel as though it is always the most tumultuous and unpredictable month of the year. While it may seem as though I am referring to the weather patterns, the unstable jet stream pulsing an alternating pattern of artic Canadian air, and warm, humid Gulf of Mexico air across the middle of our nation, causing tornadoes to rip across the plains, melting snow and flooding towns, and then giving some of the most breathtakingly beautiful days of the year. I think for whatever reason the tumultuous nature of the month of April is not simply limited to the weather. As I reflect on April’s past and I look to see what this April will hold I see a lot of raw emotion. I am not the first one to pick up on this, and I must credit the poets in further helping me realize the emotion of the month of April. April has been declared National Poetry Month by the Academy of American Poets, and so accordingly I would like to share some of my favorite April (or spring poems). I would encourage you to do the same, and hopefully this could broaden all of our horizons, as you will see many of my poems will come from two of the poets that first showed me the beauty of poetry Tennyson and Dickinson. I highly recommend checking out the works of both of these poets, but would caution against reading too much Dickinson before going to bed….
I’ll just share a few lines about spring/April, and hopefully we can enjoy some more throughout the cruel month of Aprl:
“APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.”
Taken from "The Waste Land" by T.S. Eliot
“Behold, we know not anything;
I can but trust that good shall fall
At last – far off – at last, to all,
And every winter change to spring.”
“Dip down upon the northern shore,
O sweet new-year delaying long;
Thou doest expectant nature wrong;
Delaying long, delay no more.
What stays thee from the clouded noons,
Thy sweetness from its proper place?
Can trouble live with April days,
Or sadness in the summer moons?”
“Is it, then regret for buried time
That keenlier in sweet April wakes,
And meets the year, and gives and takes
The colours of the crescent prime?
Not all: the songs, the stirring air,
The life re-orient out of dust,
Cry through the sense to hearten trust
In that which made the world so fair.”
Taken from "In Memoriam A.H.H." by Lord Alfred Tennyson
I’ll just share a few lines about spring/April, and hopefully we can enjoy some more throughout the cruel month of Aprl:
“APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.”
Taken from "The Waste Land" by T.S. Eliot
“Behold, we know not anything;
I can but trust that good shall fall
At last – far off – at last, to all,
And every winter change to spring.”
“Dip down upon the northern shore,
O sweet new-year delaying long;
Thou doest expectant nature wrong;
Delaying long, delay no more.
What stays thee from the clouded noons,
Thy sweetness from its proper place?
Can trouble live with April days,
Or sadness in the summer moons?”
“Is it, then regret for buried time
That keenlier in sweet April wakes,
And meets the year, and gives and takes
The colours of the crescent prime?
Not all: the songs, the stirring air,
The life re-orient out of dust,
Cry through the sense to hearten trust
In that which made the world so fair.”
Taken from "In Memoriam A.H.H." by Lord Alfred Tennyson
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Never morning wore to evening, but some heart did break
Alright, I’m going to jump around a bit here, and maybe if we are lucky there will be some kind of conclusion at the end.
I have been thinking about suffering, the depravity of man, and the fallenness of this world a lot lately. If you stop and look around it is hard to avoid these depressing topics. I still can’t get some of the images of the earthquake in Haiti that I have seen in the news out of my head…the mothers sobbing over the pictures of their lost children, the children without parents, and the bulldozer that is literally burying hundreds of unidentified bodies. It is so tragic.
As you can imagine I have also been fixated with the earthquake in Chile. Seeing houses floating out to sea in the town where I spent a weekend retreat, or seeing looters ransacking the one supermarket where I would go to get my peanut butter fix. It is heartbreaking to see the interviews of the people living right on the coast that literally lost all of their earthly possessions, and many of them losing their families.
Three of the last movies I’ve seen [SPOILER ALERT!!!!], Cidade de Deus (City of God), Machuca, and Sin Nombre all showed either the brutal death of children or some sort of utterly depressing circumstance, and gave brutally honest examples of life in this fallen world. By the way, I highly recommend these movies; they are probably some of the best movies I have seen in awhile, and they aren’t just depressing movies… I think there is a lot to be learned from them.
This list could go on and on, but we’ll stop it at that.
I’ve had a hard time (as I think most all humans do) with considering evil in the world. By the grace of God I have not experienced any of these horrific tragedies, but you don’t need to look too far to realize that these kinds of sufferings are very common place in this world. I’m not going to try to give a complete answer to the problem of evil, but I’d like to point out something that Fyodor Doestoevsky illustrates in his book Crime and Punishment. Fyodor Dostoevsky is a master of delving into the depths of human depravity, suffering, and despair, but I also see in his writing a tremendous faith in God, and if I might be so bold to also say, a tremendous faith in the power of Jesus Christ to overcome the depravity and suffering of the world.
The scene I wish to describe to you is a conversation that takes place between Sonia and Raskolnikov. Sonia is a girl that is forced into prostitution to support her family and her drunken father who takes money from her mom and her younger siblings to accommodate his drinking binges. I can’t do the scene justice, so I would highly recommend reading it on your own sometime. But in the scene Raskolnikov has Sonia read the story of Lazarus, and because of the events and the circumstances in the story, it really hit me that the story of Lazarus goes a long way in explaining the problem of evil, or at least in addressing it. Now I realize that I might be reading into the story of Lazarus a little too much, but this thought has stuck with me ever since I read Crime and Punishment. The following is definitely not any kind of Biblical exegesis, rather it is my musings on this powerful passage. The story is taken from John 11:1-45. Sonia reads verses 17 – 45 (she may cut out a few verses). The thing that struck me the most is Mary and Martha’s question to Jesus. They both (at separate times) say, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” I see this as the question of the problem of evil… Sonia saying, “Lord, if you had been here, I would not have to prostitute myself to feed my starving siblings.” It is interesting to see how Jesus responds. I don’t know what to make of this, so maybe some of you could help me out, and I will try to look into this more on my own too. Martha also says to Jesus, “But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” And Jesus replies by saying “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.” So I think I can understand this. Jesus is saying that even through all this suffering, even through the death of her brother, the more important thing is that Jesus has power over death. He is the resurrection and the life. Awesome!
Now Jesus responds differently to Mary, but she also approaches him slightly differently.
Mary does not end her statement to Jesus with any statement of her believing that even though her brother has died, whatever Jesus asks from God, God will give him, and Jesus does not explicitly affirm her that he is the resurrection and the life, rather he weeps. Now I have heard very smart, very godly people say that he is weeping because they are not believing in him, they don’t understand who he is, why he came, but I don’t know if it is that simple…(not that that is simple). I mean what was Jesus’ larger response to suffering? He became a human and took on the most suffering imaginable in not only dying on a cross as a completely innocent person, but having the wrath of God poured out on him for the world’s sins. So He can completely sympathize with humanity in any suffering that they encounter. So I just think about his weeping over Lazarus’ death and his weeping over Mary and the other Jew’s response and wonder if this isn’t also an expression of his compassion, sympathy, and empathy for the suffering of humanity. And it’s interesting to see the Jew’s response to his weeping. Some are amazed, “See how he loved them”, and others are skeptical “could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” Or to put it in another way, “if there is an all-powerful and loving God, then why does evil exists”. They are asking about the problem of evil…. Which I think the answer to the problem of evil is tied up in both of Jesus’ responses. “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live…” and Jesus weeping for the pain, the loss, the suffering that is common place in the human race.
And since April is the national poetry month, I will end this altogether too long of a blog post with a few stanzas from one of my favorite poems, “Never morning wore To evening, but some heart did break.”
I have been thinking about suffering, the depravity of man, and the fallenness of this world a lot lately. If you stop and look around it is hard to avoid these depressing topics. I still can’t get some of the images of the earthquake in Haiti that I have seen in the news out of my head…the mothers sobbing over the pictures of their lost children, the children without parents, and the bulldozer that is literally burying hundreds of unidentified bodies. It is so tragic.
As you can imagine I have also been fixated with the earthquake in Chile. Seeing houses floating out to sea in the town where I spent a weekend retreat, or seeing looters ransacking the one supermarket where I would go to get my peanut butter fix. It is heartbreaking to see the interviews of the people living right on the coast that literally lost all of their earthly possessions, and many of them losing their families.
Three of the last movies I’ve seen [SPOILER ALERT!!!!], Cidade de Deus (City of God), Machuca, and Sin Nombre all showed either the brutal death of children or some sort of utterly depressing circumstance, and gave brutally honest examples of life in this fallen world. By the way, I highly recommend these movies; they are probably some of the best movies I have seen in awhile, and they aren’t just depressing movies… I think there is a lot to be learned from them.
This list could go on and on, but we’ll stop it at that.
I’ve had a hard time (as I think most all humans do) with considering evil in the world. By the grace of God I have not experienced any of these horrific tragedies, but you don’t need to look too far to realize that these kinds of sufferings are very common place in this world. I’m not going to try to give a complete answer to the problem of evil, but I’d like to point out something that Fyodor Doestoevsky illustrates in his book Crime and Punishment. Fyodor Dostoevsky is a master of delving into the depths of human depravity, suffering, and despair, but I also see in his writing a tremendous faith in God, and if I might be so bold to also say, a tremendous faith in the power of Jesus Christ to overcome the depravity and suffering of the world.
The scene I wish to describe to you is a conversation that takes place between Sonia and Raskolnikov. Sonia is a girl that is forced into prostitution to support her family and her drunken father who takes money from her mom and her younger siblings to accommodate his drinking binges. I can’t do the scene justice, so I would highly recommend reading it on your own sometime. But in the scene Raskolnikov has Sonia read the story of Lazarus, and because of the events and the circumstances in the story, it really hit me that the story of Lazarus goes a long way in explaining the problem of evil, or at least in addressing it. Now I realize that I might be reading into the story of Lazarus a little too much, but this thought has stuck with me ever since I read Crime and Punishment. The following is definitely not any kind of Biblical exegesis, rather it is my musings on this powerful passage. The story is taken from John 11:1-45. Sonia reads verses 17 – 45 (she may cut out a few verses). The thing that struck me the most is Mary and Martha’s question to Jesus. They both (at separate times) say, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” I see this as the question of the problem of evil… Sonia saying, “Lord, if you had been here, I would not have to prostitute myself to feed my starving siblings.” It is interesting to see how Jesus responds. I don’t know what to make of this, so maybe some of you could help me out, and I will try to look into this more on my own too. Martha also says to Jesus, “But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” And Jesus replies by saying “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.” So I think I can understand this. Jesus is saying that even through all this suffering, even through the death of her brother, the more important thing is that Jesus has power over death. He is the resurrection and the life. Awesome!
Now Jesus responds differently to Mary, but she also approaches him slightly differently.
Mary does not end her statement to Jesus with any statement of her believing that even though her brother has died, whatever Jesus asks from God, God will give him, and Jesus does not explicitly affirm her that he is the resurrection and the life, rather he weeps. Now I have heard very smart, very godly people say that he is weeping because they are not believing in him, they don’t understand who he is, why he came, but I don’t know if it is that simple…(not that that is simple). I mean what was Jesus’ larger response to suffering? He became a human and took on the most suffering imaginable in not only dying on a cross as a completely innocent person, but having the wrath of God poured out on him for the world’s sins. So He can completely sympathize with humanity in any suffering that they encounter. So I just think about his weeping over Lazarus’ death and his weeping over Mary and the other Jew’s response and wonder if this isn’t also an expression of his compassion, sympathy, and empathy for the suffering of humanity. And it’s interesting to see the Jew’s response to his weeping. Some are amazed, “See how he loved them”, and others are skeptical “could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?” Or to put it in another way, “if there is an all-powerful and loving God, then why does evil exists”. They are asking about the problem of evil…. Which I think the answer to the problem of evil is tied up in both of Jesus’ responses. “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live…” and Jesus weeping for the pain, the loss, the suffering that is common place in the human race.
And since April is the national poetry month, I will end this altogether too long of a blog post with a few stanzas from one of my favorite poems, “Never morning wore To evening, but some heart did break.”
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Update - Hunter
Where are you working?
I am working for the Environmental Engineering firm Hazen & Sawyer in Raleigh, NC. Hazen & Sawyer specializes in designing Drinking Water Treatment Plants and Wastewater Treatment Plants. I have mostly been working with the wastewater treatment plants. I am working 20 hours per week with Hazen & Sawyer and I am also working on a Master’s Degree in Environmental Engineering at North Carolina State University.
What are your plans for next year?
I will finish my Master’s degree next summer (2011). I will be done with classes in May, but will still need to finish my Thesis project. After that I am planning on staying on with Hazen & Sawyer and continuing to live in Raleigh, NC (that is assuming they offer me a full time position).
What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
I think the Lord has been teaching me a lot about taking responsibility for decisions. Deciding to move to North Carolina was basically the first “real” decision I’ve ever made and I think I’ve second guessed myself a lot of the time about that decision. I’m learning a lot about faith, and trusting that God is in fact in control of not only my life, but the entire universe; past, present, and future.
How have you been serving in the local church?
The Lord has blessed me with an awesome church, Treasuring Christ Church. The name says it all, the church has been teaching me to treasure Christ more and more. I have been serving in the community with the church. Raleigh has a pretty sizable homeless population and we try to get out on Saturday mornings to hand out warm drinks or soup and to meet the people and to try and point them to Jesus and to invite them to our church. I am also involved in a community group and will start serving in the nursery on a once every month or two rotation.
Any other personal life updates?
My church is going on a vision trip to Chile at the end of April. I can’t go with them, but it sounds like their goal is to send a church planting team to Chile within the next 3 to 4 years. I feel like I’d happily move to Chile tomorrow if asked, but I definitely need to be seeking the Lord in this, and I think I have a lot of growing up to do before I could or should go into overseas missions / church planting. I have been very encouraged by my churches vision for church planting. They are particularly interested in engineers and businessmen that can start a business as well as planting churches throughout the world. This gets me very excited!
Any ways that we can pray for you?
That in all things I would work as though working for the Lord. I’m struggling with the practical application of living out my faith at work. Pray that God would place other Christian men in my life that can model this for me. A relationship with other Christians at my work place would be really neat also.
Also pray that I would be placing my hope in the position I have in Jesus Christ (ie. Adoption into the family of God. I am now a child of God that has been reconciled to him.) rather than my dreams for my future or even more trivial things such as Chicago sports…
I am working for the Environmental Engineering firm Hazen & Sawyer in Raleigh, NC. Hazen & Sawyer specializes in designing Drinking Water Treatment Plants and Wastewater Treatment Plants. I have mostly been working with the wastewater treatment plants. I am working 20 hours per week with Hazen & Sawyer and I am also working on a Master’s Degree in Environmental Engineering at North Carolina State University.
What are your plans for next year?
I will finish my Master’s degree next summer (2011). I will be done with classes in May, but will still need to finish my Thesis project. After that I am planning on staying on with Hazen & Sawyer and continuing to live in Raleigh, NC (that is assuming they offer me a full time position).
What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
I think the Lord has been teaching me a lot about taking responsibility for decisions. Deciding to move to North Carolina was basically the first “real” decision I’ve ever made and I think I’ve second guessed myself a lot of the time about that decision. I’m learning a lot about faith, and trusting that God is in fact in control of not only my life, but the entire universe; past, present, and future.
How have you been serving in the local church?
The Lord has blessed me with an awesome church, Treasuring Christ Church. The name says it all, the church has been teaching me to treasure Christ more and more. I have been serving in the community with the church. Raleigh has a pretty sizable homeless population and we try to get out on Saturday mornings to hand out warm drinks or soup and to meet the people and to try and point them to Jesus and to invite them to our church. I am also involved in a community group and will start serving in the nursery on a once every month or two rotation.
Any other personal life updates?
My church is going on a vision trip to Chile at the end of April. I can’t go with them, but it sounds like their goal is to send a church planting team to Chile within the next 3 to 4 years. I feel like I’d happily move to Chile tomorrow if asked, but I definitely need to be seeking the Lord in this, and I think I have a lot of growing up to do before I could or should go into overseas missions / church planting. I have been very encouraged by my churches vision for church planting. They are particularly interested in engineers and businessmen that can start a business as well as planting churches throughout the world. This gets me very excited!
Any ways that we can pray for you?
That in all things I would work as though working for the Lord. I’m struggling with the practical application of living out my faith at work. Pray that God would place other Christian men in my life that can model this for me. A relationship with other Christians at my work place would be really neat also.
Also pray that I would be placing my hope in the position I have in Jesus Christ (ie. Adoption into the family of God. I am now a child of God that has been reconciled to him.) rather than my dreams for my future or even more trivial things such as Chicago sports…
Friday, March 12, 2010
Update - Kyle
1. Where are you working?
I'm working part time for Cru at Ball State and part time for my local church here in good ol' Muncie, IN. I've loved my time with Cru here--it has taught me way more than I ever imagined about things I thought I'd already mastered. I've gotten to teach with regularity, something that has confirmed God's call in my life to become a teacher.
2.Plans for next year:
I will be getting married in May! Then my wife and I will be moving to St. Louis so that I can begin my seminary studies at Covenant Seminary. I am so excited to begin this new stage in life. I've wanted to go to seminary for years, and finally I get to! I can't wait to be married and experience the joys and challenges of that intimate relationship. Beyond that, I hope to finish my M.Div. in three years before heading overseas to get my Ph.D.
3. Something significant the Lord has taught me the past 6 months:
Christo-centric hermeneutics: or to put it another way...the unity of Scripture found in the meta-narrative that finds it climax in Christ. Seeing the OT in light of Christ brings it alive. I've loved teaching it this year.
4.Serving the local church:
Guys, I love my church. In fact, it will be one of the hardest things to leave behind. It is gospel-centered, humble, community-oriented and growing. I get to teach a Sunday school at our church to the adults called "The Road to Emmaus: Seeing Christ in the OT". Teaching that class has really led me to believe God is calling me to become a teacher. I've preached at our prayer service and I will be teaching at two plenary sessions of our Spring conference tentatively title "God, the Church, and Homosexuality".
5. Other personal life updates:
I'm becoming slightly emerging--something that should shock you all. No but really, I feel like I'm starting to see the important contributions that the diversity of christian traditions has to offer the church. There are values that come behind that diversity that reflect different aspects of the gospel, even as different cultures get certain aspects of the gospel better than others (see: China, community).
6. Prayer requests:
-Wedding! Pray for the planning, but even more for the marriage that will Lord-willing result.
-Moving: Christy and I need to find jobs and place to live in St. Louis. So pray for the Lord's provision in that.
-Perseverance: that I would continue to push hard after the Lord by his grace day in day out.
Thanks guys. You're a blessing.
I'm working part time for Cru at Ball State and part time for my local church here in good ol' Muncie, IN. I've loved my time with Cru here--it has taught me way more than I ever imagined about things I thought I'd already mastered. I've gotten to teach with regularity, something that has confirmed God's call in my life to become a teacher.
2.Plans for next year:
I will be getting married in May! Then my wife and I will be moving to St. Louis so that I can begin my seminary studies at Covenant Seminary. I am so excited to begin this new stage in life. I've wanted to go to seminary for years, and finally I get to! I can't wait to be married and experience the joys and challenges of that intimate relationship. Beyond that, I hope to finish my M.Div. in three years before heading overseas to get my Ph.D.
3. Something significant the Lord has taught me the past 6 months:
Christo-centric hermeneutics: or to put it another way...the unity of Scripture found in the meta-narrative that finds it climax in Christ. Seeing the OT in light of Christ brings it alive. I've loved teaching it this year.
4.Serving the local church:
Guys, I love my church. In fact, it will be one of the hardest things to leave behind. It is gospel-centered, humble, community-oriented and growing. I get to teach a Sunday school at our church to the adults called "The Road to Emmaus: Seeing Christ in the OT". Teaching that class has really led me to believe God is calling me to become a teacher. I've preached at our prayer service and I will be teaching at two plenary sessions of our Spring conference tentatively title "God, the Church, and Homosexuality".
5. Other personal life updates:
I'm becoming slightly emerging--something that should shock you all. No but really, I feel like I'm starting to see the important contributions that the diversity of christian traditions has to offer the church. There are values that come behind that diversity that reflect different aspects of the gospel, even as different cultures get certain aspects of the gospel better than others (see: China, community).
6. Prayer requests:
-Wedding! Pray for the planning, but even more for the marriage that will Lord-willing result.
-Moving: Christy and I need to find jobs and place to live in St. Louis. So pray for the Lord's provision in that.
-Perseverance: that I would continue to push hard after the Lord by his grace day in day out.
Thanks guys. You're a blessing.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Updates
1. Where are you working?
I started working for a company called Diamond Management & Technology Consultants in August of this past year. I'm still figuring out how to describe what I do because I think it changes every day. On the whole, I really enjoy the work; I'm learning lots and being stretched a ton.
2. What are your plans for next year?
Work, hopefully visit India (Pavan, want to take a trip this fall?), meet more people interested in business, missions, development, social justice and entrepreneurship (preferable a combination of two or more) that I can learn from.
3. What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
God is indeed good and has not failed to follow through on any of His promises. Ever.
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
Don't throw stones, but I'm currently going to two different churches. I'm in a small group for each and I get to play guitar on the worship team for one of them. Looking to help start a 20 somethings fellowship time during the Sunday School hour as well.
5. Any other personal life updates?
In the fall I got involved with a really neat organization called Traffick Free (www.traffickfree.com) that is a local initiative against human trafficking.
Also, hoping to get more involved with HOPE International and Opportunity International.
The worship team from church recorded a CD of music written by my brother and the keyboard player. I'd love to share once it's actually produced.
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
Please pray for a heart to worship the Lord in all things. Leaving college and now beginning work, there is an aspect of learning how faith intersects with these new dimensions of my life. It's my desire to worship the Lord more fully and appropriately, particularly at work. I think that means right now reaching out to my co-workers to genuinely share and show the wonderful love of Christ and to work as unto the Lord and not men.
I started working for a company called Diamond Management & Technology Consultants in August of this past year. I'm still figuring out how to describe what I do because I think it changes every day. On the whole, I really enjoy the work; I'm learning lots and being stretched a ton.
2. What are your plans for next year?
Work, hopefully visit India (Pavan, want to take a trip this fall?), meet more people interested in business, missions, development, social justice and entrepreneurship (preferable a combination of two or more) that I can learn from.
3. What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
God is indeed good and has not failed to follow through on any of His promises. Ever.
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
Don't throw stones, but I'm currently going to two different churches. I'm in a small group for each and I get to play guitar on the worship team for one of them. Looking to help start a 20 somethings fellowship time during the Sunday School hour as well.
5. Any other personal life updates?
In the fall I got involved with a really neat organization called Traffick Free (www.traffickfree.com) that is a local initiative against human trafficking.
Also, hoping to get more involved with HOPE International and Opportunity International.
The worship team from church recorded a CD of music written by my brother and the keyboard player. I'd love to share once it's actually produced.
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
Please pray for a heart to worship the Lord in all things. Leaving college and now beginning work, there is an aspect of learning how faith intersects with these new dimensions of my life. It's my desire to worship the Lord more fully and appropriately, particularly at work. I think that means right now reaching out to my co-workers to genuinely share and show the wonderful love of Christ and to work as unto the Lord and not men.
UPDATES!
1. Where are you working?
Working for EMI in India - until July it seems
2. What are your plans for next year?
Right now the plan is grad school for structural. I'm still waiting to hear back from the schools I've applied to. But if that falls through I'm pondering pursuing my dream of becoming a high school math teacher
3. What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
All those verses you always read about God's faithfulness, answering of prayers never really resonated with me. A part of me never believed them. Yet, I'm slowly starting to see this in my own life and seeing what it means to lean upon God and His will for my life. It's been a true joy to see the way God answers prayers. It is usually never as I expect and it always takes me a little while to realize that this or that is in fact an answer to prayer.
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
I try and play an afternoon of intense (and intensely non-Christian) badminton once a week with all the guys in the church. Other than that, it's been difficult this term because we've been traveling a lot as of late. Last term I was more heavily involved in a small group but there hasnt' been time this term. The traveling doesn't seem like it will die down, so we'll see what I'm able to do.
5. Any other personal life updates?
Every morning at 6am (before the sunrises), I've started doing P90X (yes, the ridiculous workout program) with a couple other interns and a staff couple. So expect a ridiculously swollen Pavan to return from India. Either that or just a really weird looking Pavan.
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
Well I guess a couple of things;
As all of you have seen, I'm trying to raise some support right now. It being a process I've never really done and being here in India - please pray that it goes well. I've already been extremely blessed by you guys and others that have voiced their support. I can't explain the feeling I get when I show up at the office, open up my inbox, and see an email from one of you basically saying - "You're loved and appreciated. I'm behind you." To feel that I think is truly what it means to be in Christian fellowship. By going out on a ledge and saying I need help monetarily and having people respond - it's been humbling. I'm not sure if it's cliche to say that about support raising yet, but that's truly how it is.
Also if you could pray for my father. For my one week holiday in May I'm going to Dubai with him for a business trip and it's going to be a great father-son time, but also a great time to really be a witness to my father. I've that for so many years now, but seeing as that I see him so sparingly these days, these sorts of times become more and more important. So please pray for his heart and that I'd be a good representation of what I believe.
Lastly, if you could pray for next year. I know the future is a tough thing for everyone, and I'm no different. I feel like I should go to grad school and I would enjoy it. But I also have this weird desire to become a high school math teacher. Pray that I would have wisdom to know whether I should pursue that now or later.
-thanks for caring
Working for EMI in India - until July it seems
2. What are your plans for next year?
Right now the plan is grad school for structural. I'm still waiting to hear back from the schools I've applied to. But if that falls through I'm pondering pursuing my dream of becoming a high school math teacher
3. What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
All those verses you always read about God's faithfulness, answering of prayers never really resonated with me. A part of me never believed them. Yet, I'm slowly starting to see this in my own life and seeing what it means to lean upon God and His will for my life. It's been a true joy to see the way God answers prayers. It is usually never as I expect and it always takes me a little while to realize that this or that is in fact an answer to prayer.
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
I try and play an afternoon of intense (and intensely non-Christian) badminton once a week with all the guys in the church. Other than that, it's been difficult this term because we've been traveling a lot as of late. Last term I was more heavily involved in a small group but there hasnt' been time this term. The traveling doesn't seem like it will die down, so we'll see what I'm able to do.
5. Any other personal life updates?
Every morning at 6am (before the sunrises), I've started doing P90X (yes, the ridiculous workout program) with a couple other interns and a staff couple. So expect a ridiculously swollen Pavan to return from India. Either that or just a really weird looking Pavan.
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
Well I guess a couple of things;
As all of you have seen, I'm trying to raise some support right now. It being a process I've never really done and being here in India - please pray that it goes well. I've already been extremely blessed by you guys and others that have voiced their support. I can't explain the feeling I get when I show up at the office, open up my inbox, and see an email from one of you basically saying - "You're loved and appreciated. I'm behind you." To feel that I think is truly what it means to be in Christian fellowship. By going out on a ledge and saying I need help monetarily and having people respond - it's been humbling. I'm not sure if it's cliche to say that about support raising yet, but that's truly how it is.
Also if you could pray for my father. For my one week holiday in May I'm going to Dubai with him for a business trip and it's going to be a great father-son time, but also a great time to really be a witness to my father. I've that for so many years now, but seeing as that I see him so sparingly these days, these sorts of times become more and more important. So please pray for his heart and that I'd be a good representation of what I believe.
Lastly, if you could pray for next year. I know the future is a tough thing for everyone, and I'm no different. I feel like I should go to grad school and I would enjoy it. But I also have this weird desire to become a high school math teacher. Pray that I would have wisdom to know whether I should pursue that now or later.
-thanks for caring
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
James Travis Nesse
1. Where are you working?
2. What are your plans for next year?
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
5. Any other personal life updates?
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
I am currently working at the Apple Store in Oakbrook, but will soon be transferring to the yet to be opened Lincoln Park store
2. What are your plans for next year?
See where this new apple job leads - contemplate more seminary - travel - balance my life out better - find some time to shoot my new rifle - play more soccer
3. What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
I have a better comprehension of what it means to be loved by God.
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
I have been attending a small group and have been asked to consider leading one, and I preached on the exodus a few weeks back.
5. Any other personal life updates?
World Cup 2010
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
That I would daily seek the Lord and pour my life out in service.
Updates
Hey guys,
I think it would be beneficial for us to give a basic update on where we are at in life.
Perhaps answering questions like:
1. Where are you working?
2. What are your plans for next year?
3. What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
5. Any other personal life updates?
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
Can't wait to hear what you are all up to and what the Lord is up to in your lives.
I think it would be beneficial for us to give a basic update on where we are at in life.
Perhaps answering questions like:
1. Where are you working?
2. What are your plans for next year?
3. What is something significant the Lord has taught you in the past 6 months?
4. How have you been serving in the local church?
5. Any other personal life updates?
6. Any ways that we can pray for you?
Can't wait to hear what you are all up to and what the Lord is up to in your lives.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
The Rescue
This is a copy of my sermon notes from the other day. It might be kinda jumbled because it was
just my personal notes, but I think it might still be useful.
Big Idea: God saves in a way that only he gets the glory.
- inability of humans
- power of God
Background
- As we learned last week Abraham has been given the covenant and in just a few generations the hebrew people moved to Egypt grown in number and we find them in Exodus one in bondage to the Egyptians. The Egyptians are so afraid of the Israelites growing to powerful that Pharaoh has issued a decree that all of the new born Israelite boys are to be killed. Here we already see that satan is trying to thwart the hereditary line of Christ; who is the fulfillment of the covenant of Abraham; more on this later.
- Okay so here we go, four scenes make up this initial story of the Exodus I will recount them to you today.
Rise and call of Moses:
part 1
As Pharaoh is trying to kill all of the Hebrew baby boys, a baby boy is born to a Hebrew family. The direct hebrew translation says that when the boys mother saw the child she saw that he was good. Now this is significant because it is the same word that is used in Genesis when God views his creation. This is symbolic and hints that this child will do something significant in God’s plan. Many of us might recognize this story as that of Moses.
Now as Moses grew his mother was no longer able to hide her child. So she devised a plan. She put together a little boat for her child, and what is curious about this boat is that it referred to as an ark in the Hebrew. Now most of us remember that God saved Noah and his family in an ark, and here we find it again. God is going yet again use an ark to serve his purpose in preserving his people. So as we might remember Pharaohs daughter comes to the waters edge and finds the boy and adopts him as her own. Moses, is then educated in the home of Pharaoh and boy is he educated. He gets the equivalent of a degree from harvard or yale. This man is now ready to roll! Or so we would think.
Now after Moses had grown up, and was about 40 years old, he was out amidst the Hebrew people and he saw a Egyptian beating a Hebrew man. Moses then deciding to act killed the Egyptian man, in hopes of showing his fellow Hebrews that he was on their side. However a few days later he encounters two Hebrews fighting and he asks why are you fighting? and the respond with an afront, what are you going to do kill one of us like you killed the Egyptian? This stung Moses, for now he knew he must flee. He had no hope now of leading his people, and Pharaoh wants to kill him. Yikes. Not a good situation. So what does Moses do? He runs away. He goes off into the desert.
-This is the first documented midlife crisis! everything Moses had based his life on has washed away and he is a man without a mission, a very dangerous place to be in. But we are about to see how even though Moses thought he knew how to get things done, God was about to lead him into an epoch of his life that would prepare him for the next 40 years of his life.
Part 2
Moses life in the desert consists of him wandering around as a shepherd until one day he notices something odd; a bush that is on fire but is not consumed. Moses thinks, hm, that’s weird lets check it out. Then out of nowhere the bush talks to him. Whoa. “Moses! Moses!” This has to be one of the most chilling moments in Moses’ life. A bush is talking to him. God speaks out of this bush and tells Moses: I have heard the cries of my people and I am sending you to rescue them from their oppression. Now what is Moses’ response... Oh not me Lord, who am I that you should send me? Under what authority do I tell them I am coming? God answers his question. Moses’ first attempt to get out this fails. So Moses tries again, What if they do not believe me or listen to me? God yet again answers this question. At this point Moses is getting a little desperate and instead of offering excuses he flat out refuses God, he says, God, I have never been good at speaking and well you know, just please send someone else! At this point God lays down the final reply. “
Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now, go I will help you...”
And with this Moses finally departs for Egypt.
- so now here we have moses with a mission again, but now he is full of fear. He is about to return to the country that once was his home ask the most powerful man in the world to let his slaves go. He has learned that he does not have things figured and even though he does not immediately agree with God choosing him, we see that ultimately he cannot reject God’s will.
Plague/confrontation of Pharaoh
So Moses returns to Egypt and comes before Pharaoh and tells him the God of Israel says Let my people go.
Now we must remember that Pharaoh considers himself to be a God, so it’s no surprise that Pharaoh refuses. Yet again we see that God is going to have to do something special to save His people, which in turn will bring Him more glory.
This commences a series of ten plagues against the Egyptian people. What is curious about these plagues is how they correspond with the disgrace of an Egyptian God. For example the first plague turns the nile into blood. The Egyptians worshipped the Nile as their livelihood. So when it turns to blood that is a big blow to the Egyptian’s pride and belief system. Yet, Pharaoh still says no. So God sends frogs. Still, nope can’t go. Then Gnats. Nope. Flies, no. Death of livestock? Nope. Horrible boils? Nope. Flaming hail? eh... no. Swarms of locusts? Heck no! Plague of darkness? Alas... no. So it comes to one final horrible and tragic plague. The Passover...
- Before we move on to the next scene I want to point out why there are so many plagues. God is using each of these plagues to prove that he is in complete control of all things. He has power of animals, the universe, weather, and as we are about to see life itself. This serves a double purpose, one it shows all the nations of the earth that the God of the Hebrew people is not to be trifled with and second it proves to the Hebrews that their God is all powerful and that He will stop at nothing to fulfill his promise to His people.
passover
So now here we are at one of the most significant points of our story. God has saved His most severe plague for the end. God tells Moses that he is going to send the Angel of Death to kill the firstborn in all of Egypt. Something different about this plague is that God wants this moment in Israelite history to be significant. God has every Hebrew family sacrifice a their best lamb and spread it’s blood across the door frame to signify allegiance to the Lord, because then God will see the blood and know that the lamb died instead of you, and if they do this the angel of death will passover that home. The night that the Angel of Death comes is a tragic night. Death is seen everywhere in Egypt and with this Pharaoh decides, finally, to let the Lord’s people go.
All of these plagues have been the result of God’s mighty hand rescuing his people in such a way that they can claim none of the credit. In fact most of the time the Hebrew people doubted God. So now that the Israelites are leaving Egypt it is curious that God does not have them take the main road. Instead he has them move towards the banks of the red sea. We now move to our final scene.
Red Sea
Once the Israelites left Egypt and are long out of site, Pharaoh again regrets his decision. He draws his army around him and the go after the Israelites. So we have the Israelites with their backs against the Red Sea and the impending fury of the Egyptian army staring them in the face. The Hebrews now reach panic mode. They are groping for the panic button. Moses why did you save us! Our lives were rough in Egypt but not so bad that we would rather die in the desert! And what does Moses tell them? He says be still. Be still? Do nothing??? What!? So God tells Moses to raise his staff and the Sea parts! The Israelites then begin to cross on a dry sea bed. As they are crossing the Egyptian army begins to pursue them across. It as this moment that God releases the waters to their natural course and the Egyptian army is destroyed. The Israelites are safe! God has established his nation in a way that gives only Him the glory! Praise God!
- the Israelites were so excited to gain the freedom. They had been delivered from bondage! But yet we see that when things get tough the Israelites want to give up, they want to go back they lose sight of God’s promise so quickly just like we do, but thankfully God shows great patience with them and still delivers them from there predicament. So we see here at the red sea that God brought the Israelites to a place where they could not have saved themselves if they tried, here God showcases yet again man’s inability to save himself and claims glory for himself by proving yet again that he is all powerful and deserving of praise.
Discussion Time
- Are someone who thinks they have it all under control and they know how to do things (like Moses when he kills the Egyptian and Pharaoh who thinks he is a god).
- Are someone who thinks who has tried to figure life out, but now feel lost because it did not work out. And now are not sure who you are or what you are good for. (Like Moses wandering in the desert.)
- Are someone who got excited about letting God save them, but it got harder or took longer than they expected and they are not sure why they thought following God would help. (Like the Israelites after Moses confronted Pharaoh)
Which type of person do you most identify with? Why?
You
So what is the answer? Are we asking God to rescue us but unwilling to give God control? Do we have faith that God can rescue us? Let me share with you another time I was rescued.
So here I am 4 years old again, this year was just not my year, I am sitting in the living room of my house and I am watching rescue 911 ironic huh? well as I am sitting there I am contemplating the idea of asking Gd to come into my heart. And I weighed the pros and cons.
go to hell or go to heaven
hmmm... even to a four year old this is a no brainer. So I thought I had it all figured out. Awesome okay here Goes, “ God please come into my heart.” I thought that was all I had to do. I thought to myself I’m in! sweeet!!! I was just like Moses in his first 40 years. I thought I had the whole system figured out. However... big surprise.... I was wrong.
It was not tell seven years later that I all of the sudden realized that I might have not had everything all figured out like I thought I did. The idea of sin had really started to sink into my life. I kept hearing people say that my sins were what kept me from God. and I was like ugh oh, I just asked God to come into my heart, I never repented of anything. I had never acknowledged my slavery to sin. It was after this realization that I was no longer able to sleep well at night. Worry crept in and kept me from seeking help, my pride was keeping me from reaching out. Finally the pressure became to much and I approached my father who was and is a pastor and told him all of the things that were running through my mind. I remember the Love and grace he showed me that day. My father sat and prayed with me and I felt as if a burden was lifted. I no longer carried a burden of slavery! I was free I had renounced the sin in my life that was holding me down, and I was now free to pursue a right relationship with God. I now knew that I could nothing of my own power and that I had to trust God completely to get me through every day. I had come to the same realization that Moses had when God had approached him from the burning bush. God is great and I am not.
SO in light of this I Sadly have to say there is still slavery today. It’s everywhere around us in fact. Sometimes we see it, but most often we feel it. The craziest thing about this slavery is that it is self imposed! I know it is I lived with it for years. So today I am going to implore you to come out of slavery.
Now some of you may already know where I am going with this, just wait I have something for you too.
Okay so just as God sent Moses to rescue the Hebrews, God sent His son, Jesus on the cross, to rescue everyone. Just like the lamb that was killed to provide blood to protect a household during the passover the Lamb of God had to spill his blood to wash us of the bondage to sin.
This rescue is right at your fingertips. Repent from the things in your life that you know are not satisfying and embrace the freedom that comes from Jesus Christ! Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is God and that he was sent to save you from your sins.
SO many people think that the Bible has restrictive rules and regulations designed to take away all the fun that the world offers, this point of view is wrong. The Bible shows us how to find real joy on this earth, and that joy comes from a right relationship with Jesus Christ.
More often then not there is always something we are unwilling to give up for God we want to hold on to the things that we think give our lives meaning: our jobs, family, a feeling of superiority over others, pursuit of power and wealth, the list goes on and on. We are unwilling to give these things up because we do not trust that God has something better for us.
Now for those of you who have made a decision to follow Christ I have and exhortation for you. Are you sharing the joy of your rescue? or are you hoarding the joy you have for yourself? Brothers and sisters it is imperative that we glorify God by sharing the ultimate message of redemption and deliver people from the bondage to sin that they are in.
closing
Today we have covered a lot of ground. We have seen God fulfill the promise he made to Abraham that he would make his descendants into a nation. We also have seen God exercise his glorious power to save us while highlighting the fact that we humans are completely powerless to save ourselves.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The though that life could be better is woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains
Can anyone name that quote? Even more impressive if you can name it without googling it.
I’ve been thinking about this idea a lot lately. Contemplating its implications on my life and projecting it to other people’s lives. I know I’ve had this discussion with some of you before. For the better part of our lives we have been fed ideas such as “you can do anything that you put your mind to”, or that “you just got to believe in yourself”. I hear it time and time again. As I’m watching the Olympics I continually hear stories that go “I just believed in myself”, “I had this dream and I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me I couldn’t do it”, yada yada yada…. I’m really interested to see where this thinking leads our generation. Maybe there have been more optimistic / hopeful generations before ours, but I don’t think any of them have really had the opportunities that we have. Especially when you consider the internet and the ease of global communication / travel, in a day when it is easy to believe that anything is possible, what about the impossible? Do we ever consider that? This year, for the first time in my life, I have realized that I won’t be able to do everything that I want to do before I die. Yes, I realize that probably means I have spent 22 years living this incredibly arrogant dream that I’d be able to do everything that I wanted to. I’m just wondering if this is something universal, or if it is something that is specific to the society I was raised in (affluent America). That is, this thought that life should be good, or at least, “the thought that life could be better”. Or is the more representative quote, “You gotta fight for every breath and tell death to go to hell.” It seems like so many of the previous generations (or even so much of our current world) has lived in a society in which there is a set duty, or maybe not even a duty but an economic / social standing that allows for only one life path and they legitimately had to “fight for every breath and tell death to go to hell”. I see the apostle Paul wrestling with this idea in his famous proclamation that “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Solomon said, “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord….The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” And then he also said, “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.” I’m coming to the grips that opening one door, inevitably means that you are closing the other hundreds of other doors that were standing there, but I guess “in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.”
I’m just realizing the faith that is required to live life, and I’m glad that my faith is in Jesus Christ and not in myself.
I’ve been thinking about this idea a lot lately. Contemplating its implications on my life and projecting it to other people’s lives. I know I’ve had this discussion with some of you before. For the better part of our lives we have been fed ideas such as “you can do anything that you put your mind to”, or that “you just got to believe in yourself”. I hear it time and time again. As I’m watching the Olympics I continually hear stories that go “I just believed in myself”, “I had this dream and I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me I couldn’t do it”, yada yada yada…. I’m really interested to see where this thinking leads our generation. Maybe there have been more optimistic / hopeful generations before ours, but I don’t think any of them have really had the opportunities that we have. Especially when you consider the internet and the ease of global communication / travel, in a day when it is easy to believe that anything is possible, what about the impossible? Do we ever consider that? This year, for the first time in my life, I have realized that I won’t be able to do everything that I want to do before I die. Yes, I realize that probably means I have spent 22 years living this incredibly arrogant dream that I’d be able to do everything that I wanted to. I’m just wondering if this is something universal, or if it is something that is specific to the society I was raised in (affluent America). That is, this thought that life should be good, or at least, “the thought that life could be better”. Or is the more representative quote, “You gotta fight for every breath and tell death to go to hell.” It seems like so many of the previous generations (or even so much of our current world) has lived in a society in which there is a set duty, or maybe not even a duty but an economic / social standing that allows for only one life path and they legitimately had to “fight for every breath and tell death to go to hell”. I see the apostle Paul wrestling with this idea in his famous proclamation that “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Solomon said, “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord….The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” And then he also said, “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.” I’m coming to the grips that opening one door, inevitably means that you are closing the other hundreds of other doors that were standing there, but I guess “in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.”
I’m just realizing the faith that is required to live life, and I’m glad that my faith is in Jesus Christ and not in myself.
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