hard, difficult studies

Guys, I am really struggling with motivation right now. In light of this, I would like to share with you one of the most, if not the most impactful page (outside of scripture) that I have read. I have probably cited or referenced this quote to many of you at some point. I am not going to give any kind of interpretation of this quote, or how I have tried to understand it. I think it can speak for itself, but I do want you to know that I think about this quote ALL THE TIME.

This is a quote from the English translation of “The Brothers Karamazov” by Fyodor Dostoevsky. It appears at the beginning of chapter 5.

“Some will say, perhaps, that Alyosha was slow, undeveloped, had not finished his studies, and so on. That he had not finished his studies is true, but to say that he was slow or stupid would be a great injustice. I will simply repeat what I have already said above: he set out upon this path only because at the time it alone struck him and presented him all at once with the whole ideal way out for his soul struggling from darkness to light. Add to this that he was partly a young man of our time – that is, honest by nature, demanding the truth, seeking it and believing in it, and in that belief demanding immediate participation in it with all the strength of his soul; demanding an immediate deed, with an unfailing desire to sacrifice everything for this deed, even life. Although, unfortunately, these young me do not understand that the sacrifice of life is, perhaps, the easiest of all sacrifices in many cases, while to sacrifices, for example, five or six years of their ebulliently youthful life to hard, difficult studies, to learning, in order to increase tenfold their strength to serve the very truth and the very deed that they loved and set out to accomplish – such sacrifice is quite often almost beyond the strength of many of them. Alyosha simply chose the opposite path from all others, but with the same thirst for an immediate deed. As soon as he reflected seriously and was struck by the conviction that immortality and God exist, he naturally said at once to himself: “I want to live for immortality, and I reject any halfway compromise.” In just the same way, if he had decided that immortality and God do not exist, he would immediately have joined the atheists and socialists (for socialism is not only the labor question or the question of the so-called fourth estate, but first of all the question of atheism, the question of the modern embodiment of atheism, the question of the Tower of Babel built precisely without God, not to go from earth to heaven but to bring heaven down to earth). To Alyosha it even seemed strange and impossible to go on living as before. It was said: “If thou wilt be perfect, give all that thou hast to the poor and come and follow me.” So Alyosha said to himself: “I cannot give two roubles instead of ‘all,’ and instead of ‘follow me’ just go to Sunday liturgy.”



I certainly don’t live up to this, but by the grace of God this is what I am striving for.